Outside Looking In

Morning Chat...

2011-06-15T10:13:00.001-04:00

I thought I'd check in with a little update this morning. Life is still as busy, if not busier than the last time I blogged. That's just the nature of the beast! :)

We've come a long way with the house updates...still have so far to go. But I guess that will always be a work in progress to some extent. I really do promise to post some pics. You know, just trying to get everything "picture-ready" all at once, and then have the TIME to take them...yikes!

God has been using the circumstances of life and ministry to remind me of some powerful truths in recent days. It always strikes me in a fresh way when brought face-to-face with the war between the spirit and flesh that God's ways are just TOTALLY BACKWARDS from what we would naturally do. It is the Spirit that lives in me that has the power to control my tongue, to guard my thoughts, to not return evil for evil, etc., etc. In my own strength, I DO. NOT. have that ability.

We were not created for this world, friends. This is only a temporary set-up, though in our finite minds we really cannot grasp such a thing. We were never intended to feel comfortable here. Never designed to "fit in" with the philosophies and lifestyles of this world. Stinks, doesn't it? I know the reality of that can be truly unpleasant at times. But it's true. And God does have the grace to help us live lives that please Him. And not only that, He has given us His Holy Spirit to comfort, guide, and help us in the journey. That Spirit within gives us the sweet fragrance of Jesus that can love and love and love again, even those who despise us. That's just His way. We do not wrestle against flesh and blood (that's another tough one to remember when you'd rather just wring someone's neck) ...we must recognize the powers that rule this world are at war with the Spirit in us! It's not personal!!!

Okay...moving on. That was my morning pep talk to myself, and you got to listen in! Maybe one of you is right there with me at this time in life. Let's just remember that we are His and He is ours. We are His ambassadors for now in this world. Let's "sing forth the honor of His name and make His praise glorious."
Psalm 66:2

Unrelated String of Thoughts...

2011-04-06T16:32:00.000-04:00

Deep breath. These have been BUSY days here recently. So much going on, it seems like there's barely time to catch my breath before moving on to the next thing. My mind has been whirling with different thoughts, just taking in the world around me.

~Last weekend our family attended revival services at the little Wesleyan church in town. (Side note: my family moved to Florida before my 5th birthday, so the vast majority of my memories and life anchors are found there; however, this little Wesleyan church was our church home prior to that move, and my memories and sentimental feelings for that place are so strong. I felt so loved there as a little girl, and I can still remember the precious people that poured that love into me. That has nothing to do with the revival, just threw it in there. :)) Anyway, we were so incredibly blessed as a family by the preaching ministry of Dr. Norman Wilson. Some of you may recognize that name as the voice of The Wesleyan Hour for many years. Dr. Wilson has a way of communicating truth that has your heart and spirit joyfully responding YES YES YES! And he makes it so interesting that my children sat up straight with ears and eyes tuned right in night after night. They hated to see it end. As parents, we were thrilled for the sound doctrine that was being clearly imparted to them. It was a blessing.

~On Sunday evening, Derek planned the first TeenFire baptism since heading up that ministry over 2 yrs ago. We are seeing such breakthroughs in this ministry, and there is tangible evidence that God is on the move. It is exciting to see and to be a part of. TeenFire doesn't necessarily look like your average church youth group. In some ways it is a struggle to find the balance between the discipleship and the outreach taking place. Sunday night meetings are devoted more to the discipleship and training, and is primarily geared toward our church young people. They break into small group and dig deeper into the Word that Derek has given them for the evening. Good things are happening there. But on Tuesday nights, the focus has been reaching out, being a face and a voice for God in the community. Tuesday meetings take place "off-campus"; in the beginning at a coffee shop, then on to a cafe', and now at the community park. Each week there are between 60-70 teens present, and the majority of these kids live downtown and have very difficult lives of poverty, family problems, etc. These kids often wander around the streets and have no real purpose or direction given to them. At TNS (we call it Tuesday Night Special) they are fed a meal, allowed to play Wii on a big screen, volleyball, basketball, etc. And then they are required to stay for Derek's Word-Out moment which is always an evangelistic gospel message. God's presence has been evident in unusual ways recently. After a time of group prayer, with Derek laying hands on several young men particularly, they came to him and wanted to be baptized. This past Sunday Derek and the pastor had that privilege. It was really, really special. Their voices as they proclaimed Jesus as Lord were clear and sincere and we pray that the Holy Spirit will guard their hearts and minds in Christ Jesus! On the way home, Reagan (our 4 yr old) said: "Those kids faces was diffwent when they came out of the water". WOW! Precious!

~A few weeks ago when Spring cruelly blew its warm, seductive breeze our way, I was struck with an incurable case of Spring fever like I've never known. Of course, as Spring is apt to do, it disappeared just minutes after the siren song, and I was up to my neck in a myriad of household projects. Too late. I was suckered in, so there's nothing to do but move forward. Truth is, our house has needed some TLC quite desperately for some time. It seems like there are just a million "little" repairs that we've let go...and they just added up! The decor also hadn't been updated in several years, so we are now in the process of tackling all of it. I am a woman on a mission. My poor husband hasn't known what hit him. I have SIX LONG pages of notes to go off of...which I wrote sitting on our bathroom floor at 3 a.m., during one of my recent bouts of wretched insomnia. Good news is, by the end of this week, we should have both of the kids rooms completely re-done, and hopefully the guest bath as well. I will post pics of these transformations in the near future. Promise. But boy, am I tired. *yawn*

~As if all of that wasn't enough, I also took on another role a few weeks ago. Most of my readers know that my dad is a funeral director and owns a Mortuary business in Lexington. My brother is also a funeral director, and works for Dad, as well as my sister who keeps the office running. I have always enjoyed being able to tag along occasionally; Derek has made some "deliveries" in the past as well, but we haven't been consistently involved in the business. However, with all the work there is to be done (and good help hard to find), and also with my sister's health issues, Dad talked to me about working out a schedule where I could come in and work as well. So that's what I've been doing: working several mornings a week. Sometimes office work, sometimes "other" stuff. I've seen some things, folks. I've seen some things. Having said that, this line of work is something that I've always been "comfortable" with, which I know not many people can say. I do truly MARVEL at my dad...he is SO gifted with what he does. Everyone should be so lucky as to have an embalmer like my dad care for their deceased loved one. He does beautiful work. And that is a completely unbiased assessment. Scout's honor. Well, I'm not actually a scout, but you'd be hard-pressed to find anyone who's seen Dad's magic touch not agree with me. :) The thing I've been most thinking about, though, as I've seen young and young-ish people brought in for various causes, usually tracing back to alcohol and/or drug use is, if they only knew this is how it would end for them! If they had any idea a few days ago, that they would end up on a cold table with all the indignity of death, they would have made better choices!!! SURELY!!! I can't help but wonder if young people were required to visit businesses like ours for a 'field trip', if they wouldn't say no thanks to the bottle being passed around or to the drugs so easily accessible on our nations' street corners. Of course that's not possible, and maybe that's for the best. But I still can't help but wonder....

So there you have the stuff that's been on my mind. Here I thought it wasn't enough to blog about separately, and this ended up being a very wordy post. If you stayed with me, bless ya!!

Carpe' Diem, my friends!

Confessions of a Non-Couponing Mom...

2011-04-01T14:48:00.003-04:00

Once upon a time, in a cold and bitter land, there lived a lady with a husband, four kids, and a dog; she didn't spend hours clipping coupons.

Okay, so the "cold and bitter" were just added for sheer emphasis. It is a ridiculously cold spring here, and I am rather bitter about that, but still. Mostly just there for effect! :)

This is really the story of an observation I've made over the last couple of years, but it's come into clearer focus in recent days. It always surprises me the myriad of pursuits that so easily become trendy, for lack of a better word. Whether it's the latest book with a little shock value, a particular hair style or accessory, or even clipping coupons, we are just creatures who like to have a trend to get in on!! And I'm not casting aspersions on that...it's just an observation. I realized I must be right about the couponing trend, when I recently saw an advertisement for a weekly show on the TLC network called "Insane Couponing"; one woman said she spends 5 HOURS A DAY doing it!!! If a whole show is devoted to it, it must really be the next new thing.

When it comes to "couponing", I definitely say "more power to ya" if you have all the energy, time, and willpower that it takes to feed that obsession! No hard feelings, and you may just want to skip this post! :) This is more for the other ladies lurking around blog/facebook world who have (like myself) felt guilty at times when they see the passionate mission of other moms to save a buck. We women are good at that whole measuring ourselves against each other thing. That's just another observation that I threw in for free. Have blogged about that in the past too.

I love a bargain as much as the next gal. I really do. And I NEED to save money. I really do. Times are tough around here...and sometimes groceries feel more like a luxury than a necessity. I have ventured into the world of couponing, but in spite of our financial needs, I quickly came to the conclusion that the grief and headache involved just truly Was. Not. Worth. It.

That being said, I am learning to do my part to stretch the dollar and try to feed the fam at the same time. I'm no expert BY ANY MEANS, and I know my insights are not new or necessarily blog-worthy. But I'll share them just the same. Remember, I'm trying to make all of us non-couponers feel better about ourselves. :)

1. So, if a coupon crosses my path and makes itself readily available and easy to use, I'm ALL OVER IT. That's the first thing. Like the digital coupons that can be uploaded directly to your frequent shopper card. Oh yeah, baby. That's couponing I can live with. No clipping, no cutting, no filling up my purse with more paper! :) QUICK NOTE: about non-grocery couponing: Kohls is a FAB-YOO-LUSS place for making sales, couponing, etc., feel like a worthy endeavor. Shop during power hours, earn Kohl's cash, sign up for special email discounts, and you can rack up some serious savings. Around Christmas time, I purchased nearly $500 worth of merchandise and spent $109. That was a happy night, dear readers. *tears* But Kohls made it EASY.

2. I try to be aware of the sales that are happening at the grocery stores, particularly for items that I can stock up on. This is something I'm really trying to do a lot better about. For example, our Kroger often has sales on Perdue fresh, all natural chicken breasts. Like .99/lb. That is a GREEEAAT time to stock up on chicken to freeze. Yay for chicken!

3. Also, when you're aware of what's on sale, it just makes sense to plan your menus for the week around what you can buy for less. DUH. You knew that already. Bears mentionin' now and then, though.

4. Look for the Manager's Specials in the meat department; items that have to be sold or frozen in the next day or so. I have stocked up on good lean ground beef and sirloin tip roasts, etc., for really great prices. Take 'em home and freeze 'em.

5. If there is a particular product that you really like but it's just beyond your budget, you can contact the manufacturer and tell them how much you like their product (butter them up, ya know) and ask if they could send you any coupons. I have even done this with prescription meds...don't even have to butter them up....just call and say "my doc prescribed this for me. Do you have any discounts or savings I could get in on?" This has proven VERY helpful with several meds. I had a prescription where my co-pay was $40/month and the manufacturer sent me a discount card good for up to $45 off my RX for a WHOLE YEAR. I got that RX free for a year. Yay! So it never hurts to try...

That's about all I've got for now. Told ya I wasn't an expert. But if I can look at my receipt and know that I saved money, real money...then I'm good with that. The trade-off for the "insane" kind of couponing just wasn't worth it for me. That's my confession. Maybe I'm a bad person. But I'm wagering there are others of you out there. I'd love to hear your stories and favorite tips for saving money and staying sane!

Come out of the shadows and be free!

hee hee...I amuse myself....:))

4/14 UPDATE: First, I just learned that the show is actually called "Extreme Couponing"; sorry for that mix up. Secondly, I had the chance to watch a couple of episodes of it. I'm more convinced than EVER that I'm not going that way! In fact, I was really struck by how it goes way beyond "trend" with these folks featured and it's a full-blown addiction. I think they need serious help and intervention. My hearts go out to their children...one lady referred to herself as a "supermom" for her couponing skills. I just couldn't help but think what a shame that her kids are deprived a "normal" mom, and instead have one who is addicted and obsessed to the point of valuing her "STOCKPILE" as much as her family. She actually said she finds it as beautiful as her family!!!! NO THANK YOU!!

The Sound of Silence...not really....

2011-03-16T21:16:00.006-04:00

Once upon a time, I brought forth my firstborn: a beautiful baby girl. And then 23 months later, I gave birth to a precious baby boy. 21 months after that, the sweetest little girl came along.

As each of those little ones reached ages 3-4, they hit that "nonstop question" phase. There was LOTS of chatter in this household. Since they were so close in age, one would barely get out of the incessant question-asking stage and another would hit it. We were quite accustomed to it.

But see, there was this four-year lull. Was it ever strange when the youngest little gal had her 2nd birthday and I wasn't great with child! :)

However, God had a little surprise up His sleeve. And by youngest gal's fourth birthday, I was on bedrest, trying to keep the little caboose in the womb as long as possible.

Our little Caboose was Reagan. And he just turned four this last Valentine's Day. During the four year relative silence, I had kinda forgotten what it was like to be asked 14 trillion billion zillion questions in an 8 hour period of time.

Today, in a matter of moments, I heard the following:

"Mommy, does the sun control the moon?"
"Mommy, what does 'rotate' mean?"
"Mommy, what are little boys made out of?
"Mommy, what about cats? What are they made out of?"
"Mommy, why do I have to use the bathroom every day?" (there were other VERY interesting bathroom questions, but I'll spare you!)
"Mommy, when I grow up to be the Daddy, can I stop using my car seat?"
Mommy, why this, why that, why why Why????

So that's how I spent my day today. Answering questions I really have no idea how to answer. Probably how I'll spend a lot of days in the near future. But I stopped to remind myself that time is so fleeting, that this phase will soon fade into a memory.
I plan to cherish every minute with these precious little people entrusted to my care. Even if it is noisy.

Silence can wait....it's over-rated anyway....

So sorry about the behemoth sized font. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT? Blogger is such a pain! I tried to fix it, but to no avail. Sorry!

2011-03-13T17:18:00.004-04:00

"The years tell us much the days never knew..."

I saw this quote shortly after returning from a delightful "Girlfriends Getaway" which was spent with dear friends who have meant much for so long. I have chewed on it over and over since that time, for it just rang so true with the thoughts and feelings brought about by our time together.

My life has been abundantly blessed by the friendships that were formed at an earlier time. Truly, those fun and exciting days we spent together in our youth could not have foretold the things that the years would bring... the joys, the heartaches, the changes of life, the miles that would span between our gatherings. I treasure every moment we can spend together! I'm very thankful for friendships that are grounded in a shared history, treasured memories, a commitment to Jesus, and a bond of love that remains unshaken. Oh! yes, and laughter!
Much more could certainly be said, but I believe I'll leave it at this, and share just a few pics from our weekend together. I'd forgotten how frustrating it can be to load pics to blogger!!!

We enjoyed a special weekend in Florida at the end of February.

Chatting it up in Market Square in Celebration, FL
Sunday evening laughs and good food at Vernon's home in Hobe Sound
Dinner at the incomparable TooJay's. :)

Some people can't be trusted....:)

Breakfast at Ohana's (it means family!) at Disney's Polynesian Resort. FABULOUS.
Kimber and I a little travel weary that first night. These pics are all out of order.

Passing the Faith Along...

2011-03-09T15:32:00.005-05:00

I had held out as long as possible before throwing away my withering Valentine's Day roses from Derek. They stayed beautiful for quite some time this year and brought me a smile every time I looked at them. When I finally caved, and headed for the trash can with them, Sophie was so disappointed. "MOMMY! Do you really have to throw them away? They're still alive aren't they?"
Even Cameron joined in the protest, thinking I should give them another chance at rallying. :)

I thought it was rather cute that they were being such advocates for the poor flowers, but a thought struck me as I ignored their pleas and shoved the stems deep down into the wastebasket.

"Sophie, do you know when these roses started dying?" I asked her.

"Today???" she threw out uncertainly.

I sat the kids down at the table and read to them from John 15. I said, "Children, these flowers began to die the very instant they were cut from their bush. Even though we've enjoyed them for some time now, they have been in the process of dying the whole time."

We went on to have a discussion about the life-source of the flower, and then applied how the Scripture refers to us as being on a vine as well. There were many good points for discussion after that about truly living in Jesus, bearing fruit for Jesus, how we can be cut off and everything that means about spiritual death.

Still, I see Sophie with her little bedside cup of flowers that she was just given on Sunday, doing everything she can to tend to them and keep them alive as long as possible. We've talked again about the vine and the branches.

My poor children may grow weary of my habit for turning the simplest daily tasks into object lessons...and I assure you, I'm not the most creatively gifted for it...but it is the way that most helps me on my journey and I'm trying to pass it along to them. It's not about winning any blue ribbon for "most creative mom" or "best storyteller", or I'd be in big trouble. What it is about, to my way of thinking, is using the model that Jesus used so often to communicate important truths. Look around you: hardly a day goes by that there's not a life-truth to be learned that's quietly nestled into the common and ordinary things around us.

I'm praying for the Father to help me open my eyes, or just to see with spiritual eyes open, all the things that He would have me know and maybe even share along the Way.

It's Me, It's Me O Lord.....

2011-02-15T14:15:00.006-05:00

Do you remember that old chorus? "It's me O Lord, standing in the need of prayer! Not my brother, not my sister, but it's me, O Lord! Standing in the need of prayer."

Those words have been running through my mind quite a bit lately, as I've struggled to communicate a message to my children.

It seems that the last few weeks there has been an epidemic of "let me tell you all about the other guys sins" running rampant in this household. I had been taking note of it, wondering about just the best way to deal with this little problem. It would go something like this:

Mommy to Child A: "Child A, Mommy is concerned because you didn't obey me when I asked you to _______"; you need to pay better attention and ...."

Somewhere about there, Child B interjects him/herself into the conversation with "I KNOW! He/she keeps doing_____, instead of ________....." And on it would go with the tales of the other's wrongdoing.

Driving home from church last week, I again pointed out some attitude or behavior to Child X that was unacceptable, when the interruption came. This time, I just called everything to a halt.

I said, "Child C (the interrupter in this case), Quick! I want you to confess to us all 3 things that you've really been struggling to get right. 3 areas where you need help and improvement. And the rest of you, be thinking. You're next."

Stunned silence.

Nervous laughter....

Slow, stammering confessions. Each one wrestling within themselves to even think of 3 areas where they needed help! What would have been funny, had it not been so sad, was how helpful they all seemed to want to be to each other;so quick to help the other remember their faults and flaws! Even in the midst of the exercise, that "pointing out the beam" was so much easier than confronting their own weaknesses.

Now, I'm not trying to make a federal case out of what may be common sibling interaction. And I'm proceeding with care in trying to open my children's eyes to the inherent dangers of this way of thinking and interacting with others. I don't want to just "shut down" a behavior. I want to show them their own hearts and the hurt and harm that can be done if Jesus doesn't help them "look unto their own thing" before they look to the things of others.

But we grown-ups need reminders here too, don't we? We may not be so downright blatant in it, but probably should confess that while we know our own hearts and areas where we fail, it sure is easier to point out all the mess and misery and failure of the other guy.

Which takes me back to the little song. In my mind and heart, I stand before Him, and ask Him to search my own heart. And then I sing, "It's me, it's me O Lord, standing in the need of prayer. It's me, it's me O Lord, standing in the need of prayer. Not my brother, not my sister, but it's me O Lord, standing in the need of prayer."

Being Faithful

2011-02-01T20:11:00.002-05:00

I came to the belief some years ago, that the heart and soul of the Christian life, complicated as we make it, can actually be summed up in these two words: Being Faithful. Faithful in the little things. Faithful in the big things. Faithful in everything in between.

That surely doesn't mean that it's easy. For this is where real life is. Rubber meeting road, and all that. It has been in the little areas of life that I have most often struggled in my journey.

God has been stretching me in the closing months of 2010, and the early days of 2011. Asking me to trust Him a little more here and there. Requiring a more consistent faithfulness in areas that have long plagued me. I confess I've gone into some of it kicking and screaming. That's just the truth. Holding on to the old ways with knuckle-whitening intensity...out of fear.

But for the first time in my life I have seen the principle played out: God is faithful as we are faithful!

Yes, I know this is so simple. You learned that years ago! I've heard the testimonies to this fact for most of my life. I can't really explain why I'm so late to the party.

All I know is God has been showing His power and proving Himself in our lives in ways that are new to us. And it has been such a faith-booster. Such a comfort.

That's all I really wanted to share in this first post of the year. Doesn't seem very profound when I lay it all out there. Maybe some reader will find that it strikes a chord and gives them the boost they need to abandon the old ways and apply themselves to the Way like never before. May it be so!

Lord, where I am weak, You are strong. Help me to be faithful to You in ALL things.

Desire for God

2010-11-29T10:07:00.002-05:00

My Lord God
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think I am following
your will does not mean
that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that my desire to please you
does in fact please you.
And I hope that I have that desire
in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything
apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this
you will lead me by the right road
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always
though I may seem to be lost
and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear,
for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me
to face my perils alone.
- Thomas Merton (1915-1968)

Our pastor shared a portion of this prayer during the "Hanging of the Greens" service last night, and it really stood out to me. The part about the desire to please God. I guess because I've been thinking a lot about that very topic lately.

Looking back over my life, I have made some giant blunders, I have acted rashly and foolishly at times. I have been stubborn and certain of my "rightness". But in spite of all that, I can look back honestly and say that from an early age, I had a desire to please God that stayed with me through all that and up until this day. It was only that desire for God and that tenderness toward the things of God that spared me from disaster at times, I am certain.

This may be a topic for a theologian (which I am not), but I have often wondered about that desire...where it came from. Why some "have it" and some necessarily "don't". I don't recall doing anything in particular to seek it or cultivate it. It just was. And I was open to it. I can't take any "credit" for it, please don't misunderstand me! Do you believe that some people are born with more of a bent toward God, and others born with even more a bent toward rebellion? (knowing, of course, that we are ALL born in sin and apart from God)

Part of my thinking about it, probably pertains to parenting. As most topics eventually roll back around to it nowadays, it seems. I look at my four unique children. With four unique personalities and giftings. Areas of strength and weakness. And with all the mistakes that I have made and will make in my parenting tenure, I think if I could give them one thing, it would be that deep-down, can't-get-away-from-it, DESIRE to please God.

I talk to them about it. I encourage them to pray about it. To ask God for it. I pray with them. Maybe there is more I could do.

Back to this prayer by Thomas Merton: in many ways it feels like my very own prayer today. Like I could have written it myself. It speaks with resounding clarity to where I am on my journey today. In some ways, I feel the longer I live, the less I know and understand. But the things that I DO know and understand become all the more clear and real.

And with Merton, I say, surely the desire that I have to please YOU, does in fact please YOU! Amen!

"Here's the Church, Here's the Steeple..."

2010-11-19T12:08:00.004-05:00

Luke 15

¹ Now the tax collectors and sinners were all gathering around to hear Jesus. ² But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them."

Recently during our Worship team practice, we entered into an interesting discussion about this passage. These are the opening verses to some of the most familiar parables in all of Scripture: The Lost Coin, The Lost Sheep, The Prodigal Son.

How many times have I passed right over their introduction only to go straight to the "stories"?

There are some interesting things to note, consider and apply in these two short verses.

First of all, Jesus the Messiah, the Son of God is talking to people. Teaching and preaching to them. Who, of all people, should be listening and learning? It should be the religious people, right? Teachers of the law and those responsible for furthering God's truth in the world. Right?
Instead, it was the sinners and tax collectors who were intentionally drawing close, gathering in to hear Him! That alone is a beautiful depiction of what Jesus came to do.

It was the next verse, though, that just really caught my attention. While Jesus is ministering and serving, changing lives for all of eternity...what are the "church folks" doing? The Message paraphrase states that they were "muttering". How classic. How telling. How relevant for today.

My heart cries out against the tendency to muttering, complaining, nay-saying, that we have come to accept in this thing we have "made" into the church. I'm no theologian, and I surely don't have all the answers, but deep down into my bones I don't believe we're "doing church" the way we should be. The way Jesus intended. For too long, we have allowed our buildings and all the stuff in them to be the focus of what we call church. And I mean that on such a deeper level than even the "here's the church, here's the steeple, but that's not the church, the church is the people" exercise that we've all learned since childhood.

I think it's easy to do lip-service to the notion that the building isn't really the church...but when it comes to the practical break-down of how the material possessions of a church are supposed to function in the Mission of the church???? It gets sticky. Sometimes it even gets ugly.

May we never forget that every brick, window, pew, table, offering plate, chalice, candelabra, etc., is nothing more than a tool consecrated to the use of furthering the Kingdom of God. And fulfilling HIS mission, which is to seek and save the lost, and make them disciples of Jesus Christ.

For while we're inside muttering, all manner of sin, pain, suffering, and loneliness is happening right in the shadow of our steeples.

And as Bill O'Reilly would say, "that's the memo".

Breaking Through

2010-09-30T11:52:00.006-04:00

I have never really been a fan of "story" songs, if that makes any sense. I always feel a little bit like an outsider when a song like "Christmas Shoes" comes out and people just go ga-ga over it. My radio dial gets an immediate re-adjustment when it comes on. Not sure why that is exactly. Right off, I can't think of one "story" song that I really like. I tend to prefer songs that use language to create pictures in my mind, that allow me to visualize the concepts on my own, rather than just "putting it all out there". I know that's probably weird, and I've probably not explained myself very well about it, but that is the way it is. (disclaimer for all my readers who enjoy "Christmas Shoes"...go right ahead and enjoy it; you have my blessing!)

Yesterday, I spent the majority of my time in the kitchen cooking and baking away to prepare for our choir Christmas musical preview party last night. We enjoyed some good food and listened to the recording of the Musical we're planning to put on in December. But I digress...while I was in the kitchen I was kept company by all kinds of great artists, singing great songs; everyone from Michael Buble' to Michael English were my companions!

I noticed something about the last solo album that Michael English put out a year or so ago. Many/most of the songs used such powerful imagery to communicate emotions, events, experiences. I felt myself drawn into praise for the unmerited favor of God...and the Redemption He offers to us.

One particular song spoke to me, because of how clearly its message resonated with where I am and have been at various times in my life. That awareness that while I know all the proper Christian behaviors and doctrines and how do what's supposed to be done...that is not enough to sustain me! Do you ever just have that overwhelming sense that unless GOD HIMSELF breaks through and meets you on a personal level, you're not going to make it?!? I have felt that way!
I'm thankful that God draws close to us when we draw close to Him. But there are times when we lack the capacity to move very far in His direction. I picture it in my mind that at our faintest cry, buried beneath the bricks and rubble of life, God Himself becomes a force like a divine wrecking ball. Breaking through all that we are trapped under. Bringing us freedom. To breath. To life.

So, maybe it's because I've "been there" or maybe it's because I LOVE the imagery that is drawn in the lyrics. Whatever the reason, the song "Break Through" is one of my favorites.

I would post a link to the song, but I think I'd rather just share the lyrics with you, let you read them and drink them in. Then you can look up the song and enjoy the haunting melody that accompanies it.

BREAK THROUGH

I sing all the songs, I read all about You • I know right from wrong • What does it amount to? • If my life doesn't show how much I love You?

(chorus)
I need You to break through • Tear down the walls • Let everything fall • 'Cause I want to praise You • With nothing between You and me • I need You to break through

I know there is more I've yet to discover • So many things You want to uncover • I've been scratching the surface • I want to go deeper

(chorus)
I need You to break through • Tear down the walls • Let everything fall • 'Cause I want to praise You • With nothing between You and me • I need You to break through

Break through the pride • Break through the shame • I've had enough of staying the same • Break through the fear • Open the gates • I'm getting tired of playing it safe

I need you to break through

The Face of Love

2010-07-04T18:08:00.005-04:00

Tomorrow is an exciting day for the youth group Derek pastors at FUMC. We have been hard at work planning, praying, preparing for a week of local missions work. Earlier in the year Derek and I were talking over the options for service this summer, and of course there are many. While we were both incredibly blessed to take part in short-term overseas trips in our youth, that wasn't really a viable choice this year for our kids for a variety of reasons. They did a wonderful job of hosting and planning a community 5K this past February, and sent all proceeds to the very worthy endeavors of MFI, to assist in relief for Haiti in the wake of their disaster. Going to an inner city or another state and helping other missions organizations was also something we considered.
In the end, Derek and I both couldn't get away from the fact that "charity must begin at home." We live in a troubled community, fraught with drug abuse, school drop-outs, homelessness, and the list goes on.

What kind of difference could our little group make here at home? What effect would it have on our kids if we tried?

The song "Face of Love" sung by contemporary group, Sanctus Real, kept running through our minds, and during prayer in our own living room, the concept for a local missions week, with the "Face of Love" theme began to take form. It will be a Monday through Thursday outreach endeavor with a different ministry focus each day. Practical helps...all done in the name of Jesus, and through His love.

So, tomorrow is kick-off! I'm nervous and excited to see how things will come together. We certainly hope to minister effectively to the needs of people here in our community, hopefully cause them to think of and see God in an entirely different way. But just as much, I hope these young people get that "rush" that indescribable feeling of fulfillment that only comes through service done in God's name and for His sake. You can't manufacture that.

Would you help cover us with prayer as we embark on this local missions week?

Here is the breakdown for the ministry:

Monday- Manual Labor day; we are taking on a huge project of working at the home of an elderly lady caring for her disabled son. The local community services office was able to put us in touch with this opportunity for service. It will be an ALL DAY effort of cleaning and extensive outdoor/yard work.

Tuesday-This is a day where our project is relying solely on prayer and the leadership of the Holy Spirit. It's difficult to describe how intensely we have felt God's presence when thinking of how to go about the mission for this day. We will be going to Walmart and Sav-A-Lot...and literally praying and asking God to direct us to the people of His choosing. With making as little scene as possible, and with minimal intrusion, Derek and one young person at a time will step up to the register and quietly pay for their groceries. We will simply hand a sealed envelope to the customer, with a letter inside explaining how Jesus Christ "stepped in" and paid for our sins...took our debt upon Himself. It will explain the process of Salvation. Please be in prayer that lives will be touched that day in a way that they will never forget.

Wednesday- This is our "meals on wheels" day; we will be cooking all morning (turkey, mashed potatoes/gravy/corn pudding/green beans/rolls/dessert) and then having the young people divided into teams delivering meals to shut-ins and poor families in our town. We will also be going to the Generation Center and serving meals there. A "love note" will be attached to each food container going out.

Thursday- We have collected nearly every item on the wish list for our local Ronald McDonald House. We will be assembling and delivering care packages for every room in the House, as well as huge amount of supplies for the common area; also bottled water and snacks for the Family Room at Kentucky Children's Hospital. This is a very practical ministry that can touch the lives of many....including the volunteer coordinator who will meet us to give us a tour and collect the donations. She has already said that summer is their lowest time for donations, and is so thrilled that we are coming.

Exciting stuff!! Faith in action!

I look forward to sharing more as the week unfolds. Blessings!

Here is our promo VIDEO.

Give It A Rest

2010-07-01T09:45:00.006-04:00

Last week my husband Derek attended the funeral of one of his beloved music professors from college. Professor John Courter was a musician of the highest order, a world-renowned organist, and a highly respected teacher known for his magnanimous spirit, perfect pitch, photographic memory, and musical genius. Derek shared with me some details from the funeral, and one particular story has remained in my mind in recent days. As one colleague eulogized Mr. Courter, he reminisced about some time in the teacher's office not long before his death. As they were sorting through years' worth of boxes and office paraphernalia, Mr. Courter came upon a sheet of music from an original composition: one he noted he hadn't seen for years. Upon finding it, he went immediately to a specific measure, grabbed an eraser, and removed a duplicate rest. Relieved, he looked up and said to his friend, "People don't often think of it this way, but we can't forget that in music the rests are just as important as the notes."

I just keep thinking about that. The importance of the rests.

Whether in music score or the daily grind of life, the ease of the ebb and flow is dependent upon the proper balance of rest and labor.

I've never been a particularly driven individual who needs constant reminders about slowing down, taking time to relax and refresh, stopping to smell the roses... proverbial or otherwise! I rather enjoy kicking back and enjoying the little things of life. I do know folks who struggle with that, though, and it can really be a difficult thing to overcome.

That doesn't mean I don't struggle with rest, though. There are many things that I need to "take a rest" from. For, even when I'm allowing my body to recline and appreciate a reprieve from activity, my mind often just goes wildly on whirring anyway. I need to learn how to cultivate rest in my mind and my spirit. I need to learn to recognize the things that trigger agitation and that trouble the waters at a time when they should be still. Still and know.....

Sometimes, it's my tongue that needs to rest. I don't have to speak every thought that I have, even when I'm convinced that I'm right and my present audience needs to know it. I've struggled with that pretty much since I can remember; it just takes on different forms as I move into different sets of life circumstances and interact with different groups of people. I'm learning!

Other times, I need to actually be a place of rest for others: my husband, my children, family, friends. A place where they can safely stop and have a respite from the turmoils of life. I want to be the kind of person that has the spirit and manner that helps soothe the anxious feelings of those who need calm.

Yes! I agree, Professor Courter...the rests really are just as important!

That simple story was indeed a reminder for me, and I hope for you, reader, that though the journey in life is very important and must be traveled with great care and decisiveness, sometimes the rests we take along the way are just as crucial to our success.

Take time to rest today!

Matthew 11:28-30 "Come unto Me, all ye who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am meek and lowly of heart, and ye shall find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Been A Long Time Gone

2010-06-24T20:27:00.005-04:00

Well, hello there. Welcome to my first post of 2010. Hey, the year is ONLY half over. :)

I've said so often how much I miss blogging. And it's true. But sadly, wherever my blogging self went it hasn't really returned. I'm sort of forcing the issue tonight, just to see if the juices will begin to flow by default.

It's not really that I haven't had blog topics hit my brain, it's certainly not that I'm not reading or thinking...(!)...it's more that whatever that special place is in my mind that allows me the creative ability to say something "original" just isn't working or something. I over-analyze way more than I used to back in the hey-day of blogging!

I've been thinking about a few subjects as of late. The role of the church (and what is church) in today's culture. The idea that nothing is new under the sun. And believe it or not, I wrote a whole fascinating (said tongue in cheek) essay in my mind about the Shakers! This after having visited the Shaker Village of Pleasant Hill here in KY. And I still just might find the will to post those thoughts some day soon. That was a history lesson. Always thinking about parenting, of course. Conflict resolution. What it means to surrender my rights. You know, just simple little easy topics.

Many of the thoughts that come to me and many of the areas that bring struggle and wrestling in my spirit as I search for answers usually pertain to ministry. I guess that's because it's our life now. And maybe I do a disservice to myself and perhaps any other lone soul out there by not sharing some of these things...but I don't really feel "qualified" necessarily. (Here is where someone reminds me that blogging isn't for the qualified, it's for those willing to share their own experiences.) Thanks, I needed the reminder!

Clearly, this has just been a ramble..not worth your time to read. As I said, I just did it to get my feet wet again. I used to positively relish the great discussion and sometimes debate, but mostly just sharing that took place here in my little corner of blogger-world. I'd like to capture it again...

Thanks for listening, and good night!

Midnight Therapy

2009-11-02T00:22:00.002-05:00

I have insomnia for no sensible reason. As sleep deprived as I have been, due to the monstrous H1N1 outbreak in our home the last couple of weeks, you'd think sleep would come easily and swiftly!

After tossing and turning for a while, I found my mind racing and inevitably placing me on the proverbial couch with my imagination serving as the in-house therapist. Yes, I'm one of those over-analyzing people who probably examine things in life too much....though I contend that a good dose of self-inspection and reflection is healthy for the soul when channeled in the right direction.

For some time now I've known some things about myself...certain traits and thought processes that I've developed. I've noticed the wall of protection that I've put around myself and my heart, my hesitancy to trust people, my "short-suffering" (meaning the opposite of longsuffering) at times that causes me to just flat out wash my hands of people. While lying on said proverbial couch, I attempt to recall when these traits first surfaced. That doesn't require too much effort, as memory lane leads me backwards to my earliest days of adulthood...around 18, 19. Absolutely naive and filled with trust...until trust was shattered. Reality check....eyes opened to the "real" world, you know how it goes. I guess it happens for each of us at some point or another. My experience left me with deep wounds that have since healed, all but for the scars that inevitably remain in this fallen world. And as time has proven, with the ensuing years there's been the brick by brick assembly of the walls in attempt to prevent further hurts. Ironically, as impossible as it may sound given this description, my heart has remained tender and sensitive to the pain of others. Sometimes the grief that others are experiencing pierces my heart in joint agony and I wish so much that I could say or do something to ease their pain.

And I guess it's at that very point where God has begun to nudge...encouraging me to start somewhere again to rebuild a genuine love for people. And not just the ones who like me and affirm me. He's been working in me to nurture patience and longsuffering, to silence my sharpened tongue, and to learn His ways. I'm such a slow student...which brings to mind how longsuffering He is toward me. Derek referred me recently to a passage in Luke...with a stinging reminder to love our enemies....because God Himself is patient with ungrateful and evil men! Whew! Given that revelation, it leaves me little choice but to pursue His image and likeness towards others.

Well, perhaps I've spent enough time in therapy for one night, and sleep will be my friend.
Now, I wonder if I'll regret this act of transparency in the morning?

Blessings, peace, and sweet dreams.....

We Are Cathedrals

2009-06-24T12:15:00.009-04:00

I heard a song a few days ago that I have not been able to get away from. It's a song called Cathedral Made Of People.

Here are the lyrics:

If they shut down the churches, where would you go?

If they melted all the stained-glass windows?

Replaced every sanctuary with a condo?

Where would you go? Where would you go?

We are a cathedral made of people

In a kingdom that the eye can't see

We're a house, we are the bride

Where God's Spirit lives inside

And nothing ever could stand against her

If they burned every Bible what would you know?

If they tore your marked-up pages how would you grow?

And declared your devotion to be criminal:

What would you know? What would you know?

When they throw you in prison what will you do?

When they hate you for the things that you know are true

They can tear down this temple, but they can't touch you.

We are a cathedral made of people
In a kingdom that the eye can't see
We're a house, we are the bride
Where God's Spirit lives inside
And nothing ever could stand against her

Growing up, I heard many stories of the persecuted church in the far-away places on the globe. I remember so vividly the tales of oppression and tyranny that came out of the underground Church in the former Soviet Union, and the stories of physical torment and torture endured by Believers in China. Is there anyone who didn't grow up hearing the story of the little village girl who wouldn't spit on the picture of Jesus, as the soldiers lined up all the church people to do just that? I wish I could better recall the details of that, but I surely heard it more than once as a child. How well I remember the uneasy feeling that story gave me, because I always wondered about myself and the strength of my faith and will.

Certainly the opportunities for international travel and short term missions work that were afforded to me gave me a better appreciation for the wealth and abundance that is known in the United States. Trips like that leave a deep impression on a person, particularly a young adult. Even still, it's difficult to fathom or imagine what our lives could potentially look like in the absence of such freedoms. There are some things that are just hard to prepare your mind or your thinking for.

I am not a conspiracy theorist, or a panic- inducing nut regarding the current state of affairs in our nation. I do confess that in recent months I have given more thought than usual to the evasive knowledge that things may not always be as they were or as they are. We have been in the process for some time now of relinquishing certain personal freedoms for the greater good (and I'm not entirely convinced that's always a bad thing), but what could be around the bend of the road does make me uncomfortable.

So I'm pondering the questions put forth in the song. I wonder what I would truly know if I were denied access to Scripture...that's such a convicting thought. And then I have to wonder, with a church building on nearly every corner of this town and so many towns across the nation, what would happen come Sunday morning if they were all gone? How would the Body of Christ make its presence known in this world? Would we know how to function without our traditions, our committees, our boards and trustees? If we couldn't complain about this little perceived infraction, or gossip about that person's business...would we suddenly turn our attention to the things that matter most? If we couldn't pat ourselves and each other on the back for our wonderful teaching and training, and pride ourselves on our close-knit "family" church atmosphere, would we in turn give a second thought to the inevitable plight of the lost around us?

I don't really know, and I don't think there's actually a way to predict how we would handle a little "persecution". True, there is the historicity of what happens to the Church during times of repression. Oh, how I hope we never have to grow that way! I hope that is never what it takes to refine us, here in this our Homeland!

Maybe it's time to read again after Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

Lord, make me a temple that is fit for Your dwelling. A Cathedral......

2009-05-28T11:23:00.002-04:00

I miss blogging so much. Lately, I find myself stopping in here before I sign off the web just to "visit" and reminisce. Last week, I went into the archives and read old posts and comments, and enjoyed all over again the great discussions and "debate" that used to take place here.

I know at the time, blogging was still a new trend, and the re-connection that was taking place was unprecedented. Facebook has filled that reconnecting void for lots of people. Way more than blogging. But I still love blogging anyway.

There's been a serious case of writer's block around here.....found it hard to write about anything. I think the veil may be lifting though....and I hope to begin sharing some thoughts again. Not that you're waiting with bated breath or anything! It may just be more for my own sake.

For now, here's a quote from a book I was reading this morning: "God gets His best sailors from the roughest seas, and His fiercest soldiers from the toughest battles. God can use what you've experienced to bless others."

Blessings!

A Risky Muse on Mother's Day Sunday

2009-05-10T13:17:00.005-04:00

This is going to sound a wee bit like a rant. And I wish there was a way to avoid that. I'd like to express some opinions, at the risk of controversy and sounding like a whiny baby.

I've observed something for a while now, on various days of distinction. But particularly on days like today: Mother's Day. We live in such an equalizing society...where everything has to be level and even, and we don't want to make anyone uncomfortable....ever. I hear that schools now often give "participation awards" rather than recognizing actual achievements made. We just throw everything into one big pot, stir it up and dole out equal portions to all. Society, I mean.

The church falls prey to this, too. Sometimes I think we should rename Mother's Day as "Female's Day". We're so afraid of somehow hurting somebody's feelings or leaving someone out, that we bend over backwards to honor females in general....and in the process, I think something very precious and valuable is lost. And that is the opportunity to actually give HONOR to the women who are MOTHERS!

I told you up front this was a risky post. I sure don't want to sound like I'm against honoring females....let's go for it! Let's honor everywhere everywhere at all times.......but on MOTHER'S
DAY let's try to remember to honor motherhood!!

While many people fill nurturing roles, and have "maternal" spirits, and all that is true, there is a unique intrinsic mystery that is part of the process of a journey in life called "motherhood". It can't be compared or lumped in with some other area or way of understanding. It is a great mystery and a great miracle to carry life within you....to do everything possible to bring that life safely into this world, to nurture, care for, and sustain that life that is utterly dependent on you. To constantly be on call 24 hrs a day for everything big and small.....to discipline, to train, to influence.....all of the things that we know Motherhood is and involves. Of course this includes adoptive Moms as well....even though that journey begins past the initial stages of life, once it's embarked upon it is a lifelong commitment and responsibility for those moms as well.

So I think that on Mother's Day, it should be about Mothers. Biological and Adoptive. But about Mothers. And Mothers only. Not women. Not men. Not society at large in it's "maternal" universe. About Moms.

And if that sounds whiny and ranty, then so be it. I guess since it's Mother's Day, I'll take the chance on being politically incorrect and hopefully getting a free pass!!!

To every Mother reading this.....I hope you manage to have a wonderful day that you can enjoy to the fullest. Don't beat yourself up for the areas where you lack. Be thankful for the fact that God trusted you enough to lend these souls into your care. Increase in your areas of strength, and know that with the dawning of each new day is a clean slate, and renewed mercies from above.

Now for my disclaimer: I think it is appropriate if people want to honor women in their lives who have been "like a mother" to them. I just think that should be an individual's decision. There are indeed some fantastic ladies out there who have played critical roles in the development of lives....even if they're not a mom. And if you have someone like that in your life, then by all means let that person know how much they mean to you!!! I just worry with it being corporately forced. I also want to point out, that sometimes when you just hand out Mother's Day flowers to everyone, even just newlywed girls for example, you do them the disservice of making the time when they actuallybecome a mother less special. If they take home a flower every Mother's Day, it devalues the flower received on the Sunday that they actually are a Mom for the first time. This is all just my two cents, worth nothing more I'm sure!

Disclaimer, Number Two: Another thing that is rarely talked about, but is very real, is that some people just don't have warm fuzzy feelings on Mother's Day at all. Maybe you got a bum rap in the Mother department and your Mom didn't do a very praise-worthy job as you were growing up. That is nothing for you to be ashamed of. That is your reality, and you have every right to own it. I don't think glowing, unrealistic tales of Motherhood do ANYONE a service on Mother's Day: whether you're one who didn't have a mom like that, or whether you yourself are not a mom like that! I don't think Mother's Day should be about honoring a fantasy or a fake angelic perception. It should simply be to give honor where honor is truly due. Again, each individual knows what that means for them. My thoughts here I guess were/are more directed at what is done as a corporate, public recognition of the holiday.

Whew! I'm done! :)

Another Day at the Gym

2009-03-25T13:04:00.003-04:00

I start this post with a *sigh*. Can you hear it? I've done a lot of sigh-ing lately. I remember learning at some point in my journey that spiritual maturity is achieved through building spiritual "muscle". As with our physical bodies, muscle toning and building is never accomplished through easy means...so it is with our spiritual lives.

Though my physical body is in desperate need of it as well, it's my spiritual muscles that are being worked out and toned up these days. Self-control, humility, patience, slow to anger, slow to SPEAK......whew! It's exhausting! And I'm exhausted.

I have a long way to go toward Christian maturity. Thankful God's not finished with me yet.

Just sharing...

2009-03-21T13:44:00.005-04:00

Every now and then, a song comes along that's just a classic testimony song. One that most Christians could identify with and consider one of "their" songs. The following is one of those for songs for me. It's been around for several years, but each time I hear it, it has the same effect. And the lyrics are beautifully enough put, that you can feel the heart of it, even if you've never heard the song. (though I highly recommend you look up Avalon and hear it if you haven't!)

Hope you enjoy.......

EVERYTHING TO ME
by Chad Cates and Sue Smith

I grew up in Sunday School
Memorized the Golden Rule,
and how Jesus came to set the sinner free.
I know the story inside out,
and I could tell you all about the path
That led Him up to Calvary.

But ask me why He loves me,
and I don't know what to say.
But I'll never be the same because
He changed my life when He became....

Everything to me
He's more than a story
More than words on a page of history.
He's the air that I breathe,
the water I thirst for,
And the ground beneath my feet,
He's everything...
Everything to me.

We're living in uncertain times,
And more and more I find that I'm aware
Of just how fragile life can be.
I want to tell the world I've found
A love that turned my life around
They need to know that they can taste and see,

So now every day I'm praying,
Just to give my heart away
I want to live for Jesus
So that someone else might see that He is.....

EVERYTHING to me,
He's more than a story
More than words on a page of history.
He's the air that I breathe, the water I thirst for
and the ground beneath my feet,
He's Everything......

And looking back over my life at the end, I want to meet You,
Saying you've been......

EVERYTHING to me.
More than a story,
more than words on a page of history
You're the air that I breathe
The water I thirst for,
and the ground beneath my feet,
You're Everything, Everything to me.

Learning to Trust

2009-03-17T17:12:00.003-04:00

I just watched that movie, "Facing the Giants" for the first time this week. We've been down with the flu...I mean the bona-fide Influenza, strain A that doesn't respond to the meds, kinda flu. So there's been little of productive things going on around here.
But back to the movie....I'm not much of a sports fan, so I didn't watch it for any sports influence. But there was a greater message and symbolism that was trying to be conveyed, and THAT I was interested in. I shed my share of tears throughout (mostly b/c that's just my way!), but I also found myself a little annoyed (as can also be my way) that as these key characters prayed and trusted God more and more that more and more miracles just kept happening. Like every thing they asked for, hoped for, longed for just started coming their way. And I don't mean to sound harsh...I don't think the movie was actively seeking to promote a prosperity gospel.... And by the end, and during bonus features, I got the idea somewhere that it had been based on a true story. So, not sure about that, but it would certainly step it up a bit for me if that were true. "Facing the Giants" was definitely a story about trusting God.

I'm rambling, I know. Been away from Blogger too long. Bottom line, I did like the movie, and I was terribly impressed that a production of that magnitude could come simply from the desire of one church in one little town, to do something BIG for God. I think that's pretty cool. (and for those who don't know, these are the same people who brought us Fireproof).

There is a need in my life to get a firm grip on what it really means to trust God. Sometimes I'm amazed that after years in a Christian environment, Christian education, sitting under the sound of solid biblical teaching and preaching, knowing Godly people, that I could still struggle with such simple basic concepts. What does fully trusting God look like? What does it feel like? Or does it feel like anything at all?

So I'm doing the only thing I know to do when I'm earnestly seeking to cultivate a Christ-like trait, or be obedient to His desires. I'm telling him how much I want to trust him. Asking his Spirit to teach me. Praying for "grace to trust Him more". And keeping it foremost in my thinking and speaking until it becomes part of me. And then just looking for every opportunity presented to put my new "skill" to use. Maybe there's a better way, but I haven't figured it out yet.

Life is so complex at times, and the way it plays out doesn't often match (at least in our experience) the beautiful watercolor-like fantasies that have taken up residence in our minds for years on end. We may not know how to navigate the waters of this "new" picture, nor how to figure out where certain puzzle pieces fit. But if we can learn to Trust our Maker, the lover of our souls, who surely does know and understand...then maybe we can rise to our fullest potential in Him! Maybe we can face those giants.

So...these are my thoughts, poorly expressed at best, in an effort to reunite with Blogger. There are so many things rattling around in my mind and heart that I would love to blog about, but simply lack the skill to do it justice.

Blessings to any readers still out there! Be careful....it's probably dusty in here! :)

The Record of Another....

2009-01-31T10:36:00.003-05:00

Yes, I know...this was supposed to be titled "First Days, Part Two". But those first days are hastening on rather quickly already, and all my thoughts of them seem a little like old news by now. Such as my thoughts on Rick Warren's Inaugural prayer, the inaugural events in general, Pres. Obama's lifting the ban on overseas federal funding for abortions, his pressure on the GOP to conform, and on and on. My heart is so heavy with concern over much of what I see and hear. Some of it I don't fully understand all the implications of, and as I try to seek out answers (for example on the stimulus package, or the U.N. Rights of a Child act that has the potential to affect all of us as parents and particularly homeschoolers), I find them so hard to come by.

More and more these days, I find my heart seeking after and panting for the Truth. Truth is not a passive, benign thing. It is fraught with gut-wrenching decisions about commitment... it sets captives free...it is so very Powerful. As Derek shared in his message a couple of weeks ago, Truth cannot be changed, but it has the potential and the power to change everything around it. In relation to current events, national and otherwise, I find myself preparing for the possibility that we as Believers may well have to examine and re-evaluate what we know to be true. What we are willing to lay our lives down for. But more likely, what we are willing to LIVE for, and stand for, and be ridiculed for, and look "foolish" for. I think there are only a few precious truths that are worthy of that sacrifice, and I hope to have the strength of character and courage of conviction to live my life that way, whether or not we are ever FORCED to choose.

We have enjoyed watching the new Gaither DVD releases the last couple of evenings. They feature a reunion of nearly all former members of the Vocal Band, and the singing is so uplifting. I found myself transported over and over again to different places in time (like my dorm room!), when I first heard some of the songs. Great memories. I have also been so intrigued to hear some of the men share testimonies of their personal journeys of faith. Someone who has always stood out as so much more than a performer, but really a sincere and effective communicator of the Christian life, is Steve Green. He has been somewhat absent from the stage in recent years, but what a powerful impact his music has had on many of our lives. Steve shared some thoughts that have just been ringing in my ears, and lingering in my mind. I could almost see the internal struggle he faced as other vocalists lifted him up, and placed him on a higher plain both musically and spiritually. By the end of the second video, before he sang "Find Us Faithful", he gave us a very personal look into his heart. I don't know if I can properly articulate it, but I will try, because I think it's valuable to hear.

He shared that for many years during his ministry he worked so hard to build and maintain an impressive record. He talked about memorizing the whole book of Romans, and that he told people it was to hide it in his heart. He talked of how his upbringing had conditioned him to view holiness as something that could be gauged by outward signs and keeping a list of rules. Absolutely he loved the Lord during this time, and wanted to please Him. But sometimes whether conscious or not, he was very concerned with "his record". What people thought of him. How he was viewed. What he achieved. With tears in his eyes, he told these other men that he came to a point where he realized that his own "impressive record" would NEVER be good enough. He had to have the record of Another...Jesus Christ the Righteous. And he's choosing to stand on Jesus' record...not his own.

I hope that my sharing these things with you doesn't cause you to somehow think less of Steve Green...that was NOT my intent! I felt myself completely understanding what he meant, and identifying in so many regards. How curious it is that regardless of church affiliation or background, or status, Satan still uses the same old trick he's been using for centuries. That old "take the mirror down and try to clean yourself with it" trick; I guess he uses it because it works. In our humanity, in our flesh, we suppose that it is easier to work and strive, follow rules XYZ, and clean up real good on the outside. Breaking up the fallow ground of the heart...surrendering thoughts, motives, intents, attitudes,....now that is hard work! But that's where the Spirit himself steps in to gently aid in the process, and create in us that which is real. That which is TRUE!

I'm so thankful we can all depend on the record of Another to speak for us. Aren't you?

First Days, Part One

2009-01-23T16:39:00.003-05:00

I really want to share the things that have been going through my mind as these first days of the Obama Presidency are unfolding. But with a few sleepless nights under my belt due to kids being sick, I really don't have the energy to do justice to my rambling thoughts. Hopefully I can get some zzzz's and start journaling some things here.

I will say this, just in case anyone hasn't been paying attention to his first executive acts: he promised that he would make abortion funding and the signing the Freedom of Choice Act a priority, and already he's making good on that promise. He lifted a ban on funding for abortions overseas already. And you can bet there's more to come.

The thing that breaks my heart the most is just thinking of all the professed followers of Jesus who turned a blind eye to something that is so precious to the heart of God and His Son...and voted for this man in spite of it. Have mercy on us, Lord.

Well, so much for not sharing! Ha! You know me....

Blessings on you all for a wonderful weekend and Lord's Day!

Farewell, Mr. President!

2009-01-19T10:21:00.004-05:00

So tomorrow is the inauguration of Barack Hussein Obama as President of the United States. I've been noticing the conspicuous absence of his middle name in all the flurry of coverage. I notice it not so much for what his name is, but simply because it's such a departure from all previous Presidential coverage for things such as this. Every President in my re-collective memory has been referred to by their name in full. I guess I can understand his not wanting to use it, but I do feel it's rather contrived on the part of the media in attempt to wipe it from our collective consciousness. One more quick thought here: Bernie Goldberg has a new book coming out later this month entitled, "A Slobbering Love Affair" referring to the media coverage of their darling. I just think the title is deliciously wonderful, and I hope to read it at some point!

But enough about Obama...there will be plenty of time for talk of him in the years ahead.

Today my thoughts are really on the man that I have spent the last eight years praying for. The man who causes me to stop what I'm doing, and listen when he has something to say. The man who has caused me to take a second look at what it means to stand for principle and conscience...even if it means standing alone. The man who often causes my eyes to sting with tears or a lump to form in my throat, when he appeals to the deep love of liberty in us all. The man that I have proudly supported and called "Mr. President".

History will sort out what mistakes were made by Mr. Bush and when. Of course I am confident that he made his fair share. But I also sincerely believe that History will provide somewhat of a vindication of this good, good man. He is not the villain that many would have us believe.

I have felt as safe as logically and humanly possible under his leadership and care. I have felt like I had a voice in Washington to some extent. (Did you stop and read his proclamation on the National Day of Sanctity for Human Life?)

And I guess more than anything, even when nagging doubts or fears would come knocking, all it would take was the chance to hear him and look in his eyes or even watch him wrestle so gracefully with the press corps, and he made a believer out of me all over again. When I look into his eyes, I see honor and integrity that is profoundly inspiring.

I think even had the election turned out differently, and were we to witness the inauguration of Mr. McCain tomorrow, I believe I would still feel this sense of sadness and personal loss knowing that President and Mrs. Laura Bush would no longer "be there". It just feels like a sad day no matter what.

I'm sure some will read these thoughts and disagree, others may read and think it's way too overdramatic, others will think I'm completely nuts, and some of you share my feelings! I always welcome comments and thoughts shared on this blog. This may be the only time that I make this request: please refrain from sharing ugly criticisms of Mr. Bush today. I think he's earned a little respect, even if it's just in my little place in blogger-world. That's the least I can do for a man who I feel has done so much.

Blessings, my readers, and tomorrow I hope we rise up and begin a chorus of prayer for our new President that all of God's grace and guidance and wisdom will rest upon him. He will surely need it for the burden he's about to take on his shoulders.

Chaos and Peace

2009-01-12T20:30:00.003-05:00

As I continue to move into this new year, I am so aware of the need for a fresh sense of God on my life. Part of my reflection and "looking back" over the last year brought a realization that God was consistently removing crutches, security blankets, and safety nets from my life. In various ways...relationship struggles or relationship changes through moves, etc. etc. As those props have given way beneath me, I am forced into a more honest look at my life and my relationship with God. I am constrained to seek His Word, His Kingdom, and His truth with renewed passion. Digging deeper. Seeking to move beyond facades, cliches', and pat answers. Just going through the motions, accepting status quo, believing things without seeking out their foundations! That's such an easy way out!

But it doesn't bring life. It doesn't bring life abundant. Sure, it's scary when you feel like you've been reduced to "just God"! How ridiculous that sounds, but sometimes I confess to you that I have felt that way. That I didn't want to be in a place where all I really had was God. Sure, I wanted Him, and His help...but there was just a little comfort knowing that there was a "back-up". I am bearing my soul in honesty here. The good news is that God is helping me to recapture the wonder and the mystery that is His unfathomable love. I think I'd become so enamored with the awesome (used in it's original definition here) majesty and power and greatness of a God who designed the universe, the indescribable Creator......that somehow I'd lost the tear-jerking joy that it is to know that HE KNOWS ME! HE loves me! How can that be?

So God is moving in me...and as I read His Word, and open my heart to Him more fully, I look forward to "whatever it is He's doing inside of me". I heard this song on the radio tonight, and my heart answered YES YES YES! That's me. That's how I feel. Sometimes the journey feels like chaos, but in the midst of it, there's peace! The lyrics are a little hard-pressed to capture the emotion that the musical accompaniment can bring with them, but I hope you get the idea.

And I hope each and every one of you, gentle readers, are opening your hearts to whatever He's doing inside of you this year. BLESSINGS!

WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING INSIDE OF ME
It's time for healing, time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
All I can do is surrender.....

To...

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos yet somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Revaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything!
I surrender!...

To....

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos, yet somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
But I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to to release all my held back tears

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life
Something Heavenly

I SURRENDER!

Looking Back

2008-12-27T22:05:00.005-05:00

Christmas cards just didn't get sent out from our house this year. I wanted to do it, but somehow never made it happen. I had sort of thought I might do the every-other-year Christmas newsletter anyway....right?! :) So we should be right on track next year.

I do sincerely hope that all my readers had a blessed Christmas season, rich with all the things that really matter in life. That was the sort of Christmas we had this year...a definite scale-down from some material goodies known in years past, but still rich with the love of family and the knowledge of God's goodness.

As I reflect on 2008, it was a year of great changes and continuing adjustments. I am increasingly amazed and a little alarmed at the swiftness with which time seems to pass. I know that's not actually possible, but it surely seems so! I remember writing at the beginning of 2008 that I had a sense that it was going to be a year of changes, with big things happening. I confess it didn't unfold quite like I had imagined, but thankfully there is no spiritual limitations that come with the changing of the calendar year.

In January, Derek's job with Fidelity moved from the north part of Cincy to Covington, Ky. Yes, still quite a haul, but a little closer to home, nonetheless. We still hope for the day when something closer will open up.

In February, we celebrated the 5th birthday of our sweet Sophia, and the 1st birthday of our precious Reagan. Sophie is growing into a very sensitive, considerate little girl and we are so proud of her. Reagan keeps life very exciting as little boys approaching the "terrible" twos are wont to do. He is a doll-baby though, and very beloved by his whole family!

In March, Derek and I attended the Cincinnati Homeschool Convention which we enjoyed very much and look forward to doing again. We returned home from there just in time to celebrate our Lauren's 9th birthday. She has grown so quickly, and I am still struggling to wrap my mind around the fact that I have a daughter as tall as my shoulder who is growing into a young lady. It makes me feel so old!

In April, Cameron turned 7 years old. Cameron is a rambunctious, wiggle-worm of a little guy. He is getting so big, and is nearly as big as Lauren, though she is a full two years older. He loves doing things with his Daddy, and is such a good helper with whatever task he is given to do.

In June, we marked 12 years of marriage together. How thankful I am to God for the man He has allowed me to share my life with. I'd marry him again in a heartbeat!

June also brought about a new phase in our lives when our Pastor resigned his position to move to a church in Alabama. Pastor Bill and Nancy had become so much more than just a Pastor, they were our trusted friends and confidants. We still miss them so much, and their place in our lives is still vacant. In August, Derek also accepted a call to another local church which took us away from the church we had been serving for nearly 6 years. It was a lot of transition all at once, but we have seen God's hand moving through it all. We are enjoying getting to know the congregation of which we are now a part. Our children are loving their new friends and enjoy the children's ministry at the church. Derek has a great group of young people and he is doing a wonderful job (if I may say so!) in working with them and helping them mature in their walk with God.

Another new thing, and a rather big one for our family was the decision to start doing services of music as a family. This was never something that we really envisioned doing, but it started happening one service at a time, and it has proven to be something that we enjoy as well as an avenue for ministry. We hope to continue this into 2009 as God sees fit.

Like many of you, most of my year was spent in a love/hate relationship with politics and news-watching as we followed the presidential campaign. Wish I could say that I was happy with the outcome, and looking forward to inauguration day but that is not the case. I do rest in God's sovereignty, and know this is an opportunity for growth as a nation.

The year has ended with a big "bang" as my brother Jonathan got married five days before Christmas! A wedding at Christmas time makes for a double whammy of festivities. We welcomed Monee' into our family with open arms, and wish them all the best.

So, there you have a very birdseye view of our past year. Certainly devoid of many details, but perhaps many of you have read the blog and were aware of most of these events already!

I wish you all a Happy New Year....Blessings!

TeenFire's Christmas Giveaway

2008-12-16T22:37:00.003-05:00

Tonight we had our Youth Group Christmas Party. It was completely different from your average hoopla and celebration. Derek had contacted the Community Services office, who had put him in touch with a local schoolteacher who heads up Operation Happiness for disadvantaged Hispanic families in the area. Through talking with the teacher, Derek got the names and ages of 16 children from 6 different families.

Over the last few weeks, we have had a Shopping night, when we hauled our teenagers to Walmart for presents for those children and gift cards for their parents, and a Wrapping Party during our coffee house time where we wrapped all the gifts. Tonight, we brought all 6 families in on the bus for a night of food, games, and gift-giving. I wish you could have seen these childrens' faces. They were SO excited to get presents! They could hardly stand the anticipation. Their parents English was poor, so the teacher volunteered to come along and help translate. What a blessing that was. It was so special to share the love of Jesus, and the joy of Christmas with these families. I hope it was a evening they will never forget.

As for our young people, what a great experience this was for them. Like I said, it wasn't the usual gift exchange and hilarity that a traditional Christmas party entails. This year it was all about service. This was Derek's idea and his desire for them. Having been with this group only since September, he wanted to set the tone for service early on. It has been well received by the teens and their parents. It is indeed more blessed to give than receive.

I plan to post some of the pics of tonight's outreach soon. Just thought I'd share these thoughts while they are fresh on my mind. I held the sweetest little baby named Daisy. She was so precious!

Blessings!

Reflections on Thanksgiving Day

2008-11-30T22:27:00.007-05:00

The advice is as old as time itself: if you want to "feel better" about your life or your circumstances, find ways to do something for someone else. It's old advice, but it still holds true today.

The church of which we are now a part has a long-standing tradition of serving hot, homemade Thanksgiving Dinner to people in the community: shut-ins, the homeless, the poor, and the lonely. This is done through delivering meals, or serving them in our fellowship hall. Now my personal tradition involves waking up and baking pies, side dishes etc., to take to our own big family shindig in the afternoon. But I really wanted to see this outreach endeavor up close and personal, so I did all my baking the night before and headed out to the church on Thanksgiving morning. I admit I was a little bit skeptical, because after all this is a holiday, and most people are busy sharing it with loved ones, not working at the church!

The first thing that blew me away that day was the sheer number of volunteers that turned out to help. It was truly impressive: every "demographic" represented in our church from the richest to the poorest were there to pitch in and help. Secondly, hats off big time to those who organize and make this thing happen: what a well-run ship! Third, the numbers of people served that day was somewhat staggering to me. I still don't have the final numbers: there are drivers who deliver meals to shut-ins, etc., and then there are servers who serve food to any folks who may come in and sit down for the meal in the fellowship hall. Last number I heard, was that well over 500 people were served a meal on Thanksgiving Day.

Finally, I found myself having to keep my emotions in check even as I filled dozens of take-out containers with food. Because as I was doing this, I was watching those who came in "off the street" to have a turkey dinner. There were the elderly folks, just eating up the attention and love they were being shown, there was the homeless lady who sat off in the corner, still unable to escape the kindness and love that was being extended, and probably most heart-breaking to me, there was the young couple with two little boys, who just seemed to have a "down-on-our-luck" weariness emanating from their very persons. They even seemed a little embarrassed to be there at all, but it was Thanksgiving, and it was a free turkey dinner. And you'll do anything when you have kids. I cry for them all, because I know so well that there but for the grace of God, and the love of family, go I. And that is so much more than a cliche'......

My part in Thursday's success was so small, almost imperceptible....but it was truly my honor and privilege to be a part of it. I felt very proud to be part of a congregation that sincerely seeks to put feet to Christianity, and a face to Christ.

My only regret was that I didn't haul at least a couple of the children along to know the joy of serving and the reality of our blessings. Next year this will be a family endeavor.

Thanksgiving and Sacrifice

2008-11-24T18:02:00.003-05:00

Our Pastor shared a wonderful quote during his message on Sunday morning. It struck me so that I knew I wanted to "chew" on it for awhile. I asked him to email it to me today, and he obliged. Since it is Thanksgiving week, I thought I would pass it along to you, my readers.

"Whatever you have received more than others -- in health, in talents, in ability, in success, in a pleasant childhood, in harmonious conditions of home life -- all this you must not take yourself as a matter of course. In gratitude for your good fortune, you must render some sacrifice of your own life for another life." Albert Schweitzer

The truth is that no matter how hard things seem at times, or how tempted toward a pity-party I can become in a self-absorbed frustration with circumstances, I have indeed been the recipient of many of these good things. And I do feel compelled to "render some sacrifice" for the life of someone else. What kind of world would it be if we followed this principle of living? It reminds me of the scriptural truth that "to whom much is given, much is required." And I particularly find the use of the word sacrifice to be of interest here. That indicates so much more than just dropping a coin in a red bucket somewhere, though that may have its place as well. I'm still "chewing", you see. :)

Thanksgiving is my favoritist of all holidays. But in my giving thanks, I hope to find a way to serve and help lift the load for someone who may be more hard-pressed to find a reason for joy during this season.

Happy and Blessed Thanksgiving week to you and yours!

Just thinkin'

2008-11-18T23:01:00.002-05:00

It's way too late and time for all good boys and girls to be in bed. Don't know what that says about me, exactly. It's been a long day, so I'm just winding down a bit.

Nothing newsworthy to report. Just thinkin' and feelin' thankful for the good things in life. Mostly because it's a choice to do so, since there are many things that could easily take my attention off of thinking on the good things. (I'm hearing old strains of the Gaither trio run through my mind right now, do you hear it too? "I'm gonna think on the good, good things...think on what the Lord has done for me....")

Today my husband bought me a sweet card for no particular reason at all. It made my day...of course, in true girl fashion I got a wee bit weepy. But that's okay....:)

It's good to be loved.

Blessings on all my readers.....

Honoring Veteran's Day....

2008-11-11T11:24:00.003-05:00

Just wanted to pause and pay tribute to the many Veterans across our nation. We owe them so much. I guess it's probably because of Papaw's influence on my life, but I always find myself noticing a Veteran's license tag, imagining what his particular war experience was like. Other times, I'll pass an older gentleman wearing a cap that says, "Vietnam Veteran" or "Korean War Veteran". And I stop and imagine what massive change was effected in his life because of the simple words printed on that cap.

Even though this last week represented a sad change for our country, and John McCain's personal defeat for the presidency, for some odd reason I picked this week to read his book, "Faith of My Fathers". I highly recommend that you read this book, and I only wish I would have read it sooner. Even though I already knew his story, hearing the whole thing in his own words certainly provides better insight into what makes this man who he is- the good and the not-so-good. He endured great suffering, and shares the stories of other men who endured more torture than he. Yet the CODE that they lived by as servants of the USA is inspiring, and tear-inducing.

Thank you, men and women of the U.S. Armed forces...past and present! You are truly the unsung heroes that make our way of life possible. God bless you.

As the Shock Wears Off....

2008-11-06T22:40:00.003-05:00

Well, as the shock begins to wear off, I have dried my tears...put away the sackcloth....and thrown out the ashes. I don't know exactly at what point it happened, but somewhere along the way, peace began to settle down on my spirit. I still think the same things I thought before. I'm still certain that America made the wrong choice. I'm still broken-hearted at the shallow "image over substance" majority. But I have made my peace with it.

When you're an interested voter, with an ear always open to the political grapevine, your children tend to pick up on such things. The kiddos in this house were not unaware of who was running and why we supported one over the other. (on a child's level). After learning of our "loss", they were doing raspberries with their tongues, and making their displeasure clear. Today, I found the strength in me to tell them in a firm voice, that that would be the end of such expressions. This man is now our president, and we will give him the respect that the office deserves. We will pray for this man. And even if/when he disappoints us, and breaks our hearts with the decisions he makes, we will still respect his office. And we will pray for him. When tempted to fear over directions we feel ourselves moving, we will show respect. And we will pray for him. My readers may recall that I had questioned myself for months if I would have the strength in me for this resolve. I honestly feared that I would become like the Bush-haters, only the on the opposite side. I was so glad to hear myself say those words to my kids...and know that deep down, I did mean them!

I know I will probably have moments when I lapse back into mourning; but in spite of it all, today I still feel like an American. On Tuesday night, Wednesday morning....I wasn't so sure. I was too fearful that my voice (and the voices of millions who believe as I do) were lost forever in the drowning chorus for change. When I stepped out my front door, the world already felt like a different place. But when the peace came, that notion of un-belonging fled. This is still my country. She's faced many challenges before. And she's failed at some of them, too.

I really do believe that Christians, conservatives, basic moral folk, etc., etc., can be lulled into a complacency in life. When we have a few elections go our way, have a few court cases go our way, see a few ballot measures turn out favorable to our causes...we tend to sit back and relax. Just assume that maybe we're not facing that big of a battle after all. I've been guilty of that myself. Just convince myself that maybe things aren't that bad...it's just the media putting that spin on it, right? Well, no more. I do believe this is the opportunity for our prayers to be consistent and fervent. Time for our prayers to have legs. Time to realize that righteousness is not the natural way of men....it's a choice and a decision that we make. And it's our job to set the example. To live the way.

And that's what I intend to do.

It Really Happened.

2008-11-04T23:09:00.002-05:00

Just called the race a few moments ago. President-Elect Obama. Tears are streaming down my face.

Now it's time to get serious about our faith and trust in God. He's still in control.

An Election Day Prayer

2008-11-04T10:34:00.005-05:00

An Election Day Prayer

Our Heavenly Father, God who created Heaven and Earth:

In your vast universe, we are but a “blue dot” in the rearview mirror, so very small by comparison to all you have made. On that blue dot, there is a small continent, and on that small continent there is a small country. Only a baby by our own earthly, finite standards. How much smaller and younger by the way that You measure time and space. And in your loving-kindness, you have sought to be PRESENT in our every step since the days of our beginnings. Everywhere we look around us, there are reminders that you were invoked here during the days of our founding. You are acknowledged on our monies, on the walls of national capitol buildings, on courthouse steps, on hospital walls. It was not the intention in the beginning to push you out or push you away. We sought only to worship you freely and without fear of retribution.

Somewhere in the march of time, as generations have passed, we have moved away from you one step at a time. We have neglected your Word. We have made light of things that you call an abomination. We speak openly and proudly of things that are done in secret. We murder the innocent by the millions. We ban you from our educational system. We routinely break our marriage covenants. We flaunt our nudity. We bow at the idol of materialism. We lust for that which is unseemly. We ridicule Your son, and we ignore your Holy Spirit. Oh God, please forgive us. Please have mercy on us.

Hope is not lost. As long as there is life, Life in You, there is hope. And there is still a remnant…perhaps millions strong…lifting their voices in intercessory prayer to you always. But especially on this day. We repent on behalf of our nation. We recognize that you cannot withhold your wrath forever upon our wickedness. But we ask you today to once again raise up the righteous, and tear down the wicked. Give us men like Elijah who will stand in the gap for us. Give us courage to stand in the face of evil. Give us willing hearts for service.

Forgive us, as your Bride, for not being a true example of your love. Forgive us for not being your hands and feet. Forgive us for allowing the government to do the job that we should be doing. Where there is hunger, poverty, genocide, wars, and unspeakable pain, may we be the ones to comfort, to give, to heal, to save. Give us your eyes to see the world. Help us not to think in a vacuum that only sees our own problems and the troubles of our own nation.

Today is our nation’s Election Day, and we need your wisdom and guidance. I humbly ask that you draw in close to us as we go to the privacy of the voting booth. I ask that you would use whatever means necessary to breathe a memory through our minds. Remind us of righteousness, of life, of moral duty and responsibility. Remind us of Yourself. Today you set before us life and death, blessings and cursings. Oh God, please help us to choose wisely. Help us to choose life that we and our children may live.

As dawn breaks tomorrow morning, whoever our new President-Elect may be, I humbly pray down your grace and anointing on him. May you over-shadow him so completely with your presence that he falls on his face before you. And may your people still place all hope and faith and trust in only You. For You are all we have in this life and in the life to come. In life or in death, we belong to you. All this I pray in the name of our crucified and risen Savior, Jesus Christ your Son,

Amen.

It's Saturday.....and Tuesday's a Comin'

2008-11-01T10:44:00.004-04:00

Perhaps my readers thought I was going to refrain from political blogging in the final waning days of these campaigns. I thought I was too! Alas, I can keep silent no longer. My thoughts have no real rhyme or reason. They are simply a myriad of things running through my mind as Election Day approaches, and not necessarily original or profound.

*First of all, whatEVER you do, make SURE that you get out and VOTE! It's so important. And I hope that we all encourage our friends, neighbors, acquaintances to do the same.

*I am still baffled that there could be a such thing as an undecided voter. Who are these people? From what frame of reference are they operating? By what compass do they guide their decisions?

*I am noticing that there is still hesitation and frustration in the ranks of some Christian conservatives about voting for McCain. A flirting with the option of third party voting. I also used to think that my conscience would be better served by voting for the person I truly hoped would win, rather than the one who actually has a chance to win. I have changed my mind somewhat in this election. If our choice were between TWO evil men, TWO pro-abortion men, TWO socialistic-minded men, TWO men who were equally as inclined to strip away all semblance of our heritage, traditions, and Judeo-Christian values, TWO men who cavort with unsavory acquaintances, then I'd say, "ABSOLUTELY VOTE THIRD PARTY!!!!" That is not the case in this 2008 election. I believe we have a duty to look at this thing sensibly and pragmatically. A vote for Obama would be to turn our backs on everything we believe and know to be morally right. And a vote for a third party is a vote for Obama. That is absolutely unacceptable.

*Speaking of unsavory involvements: I keep trying to understand something else about this campaign. I can't quite figure out why the McCain people haven't done a better job making something clear. This whole "Rev." Wright, Ayers, Acorn stuff has been made a mockery of, like that's just McCain grasping at straws to create an atmosphere of "fear". I don't think that should be the issue at all. I think it's actually more basic than that. One of the first lessons that good parents teach their children is that who one associates with, plays a major role in defining that individual. We can often tell that the character of a young person is being shaped by the friendships they are forming, and by those that they choose to look up to. This is one of my biggest concerns about Barack Obama. I don't really know what his association with all of these individuals has been, and I don't know how many untoward character traits have been formed in him because of it. What I care about is simply that there is a pattern of at least two decades of his name being spoken in association with questionable figures. And his explanation about any of it has been less than forthcoming. We don't know this man. We only have a few things on which to base our knowledge of him, and you would think he would want to clear his name from these things a little better than he has done.

*At this point, I don't think there's any changing the minds of those who are in the tank for Obama. They remind me of the story of "The Emperor's New Clothes." Remember that one? I remember it was the first time I ever learned the word 'swindler', and I thought it was such a cool word. (yeah, I was a weird kid). Remember the crowds in the story "oohing and ahhing" as the Emperor paraded through the streets decked out in his immaculate finery? Remember it was one little boy who finally stated the obvious when he pointed out that the Emperor was actually stark naked?????? When I see all this hoopla over Barack Obama, I feel like that little boy. I don't see what others are seeing. And I think it's because there's nothing there to see.

*John McCain will probably not be the finest President this nation has ever known. Arguably, truly GREAT men are a little harder to find these days. But I am certain of this: John McCain will not deliberately set out and seek to destroy the fundamentals of our society. He will not seek to strip freedoms away from American families, American Christian families, etc., to run our households as we see fit. How could we possibly question his love and devotion to this country? John McCain wasn't my first choice in the primaries, either. I would have yelled it from the rooftops if it would have made a difference. But now he's the only choice. I am sincerely fearful, that if a President Obama has the way cleared for him (by way of a fully democrat-controlled D.C.), he will steer our ship significantly off the course set by previous generations of Americans, and especially that of our nations' founders. I don't want to see that happen.

*Our church is hosting a prayer vigil beginning at Midnight on Election day. I intend to spend time in prayer. I'm not going to ask God for John McCain to win. I'm going to pray for Wisdom on behalf of American voters. It is God who raises up and brings down, but sometimes we just get what we ask for.

What's Up

2008-10-15T13:46:00.005-04:00

We have been spending many hours working on the youth room at our church. It has literallly been an "extreme makeover" situation! We are tired, but thrilled with how the results are looking. We're having a big unveiling/open house this Sunday night. Looking forward to that a lot.

We enjoyed having Brent here for a quick visit and to perform at our weekly coffee house ministry a couple of weeks ago. We have such a great time being together, and our kids of course think he's just the coolest thing since.....well, anything cool. :) So good to be with friends.

Derek's computer just returned home today after weeks stuck in Texas for repair. Unfortunately, the timing of his sending it off for repair co-incided w/the hurricane disasters there in TX, so we were beginning to think we may never get the computer back. After I get the pics from Brent's visit uploaded, (the few I got to take before the camera died...grrrr....I'll put those up.)

We're doing well. Kids are growing like crazy.

Looking forward to watching the debate tonight. Not that it will make much difference, I'm afraid. These debates have done little to really get to the heart of matters. But I still watch them....they rile me up a little more! :) Supposedly the polls show McCain falling behind with three weeks to go. I am trying to prepare myself for the possibility of an Obama presidency, but oh how I cringe at the the thought. So that's 2 or 3 cents on my political thoughts.....a little but enough.

Blessings.

UPDATE: I decided to STEAL pics from Brent's facebook! :) So here are a few just for the kicks of it. :)

"Create A Post"

2008-09-09T21:38:00.003-04:00

You know when you sign in to Blogger, there's that option to 'create a post.' Tonight I had a few spare moments-and a computer!- and so I've surfed very quickly through my portion of blog-world. And I feel some sort of pressure on me that I should indeed create a post. The only problem with that is that initial phase of "creating". I just don't have it in me right now! It's one of those nights when I feel like maybe I'll never be able to write again!

It's certainly not because life is dull....heaven knows we are busier than ever. And heaven knows I have plenty knocking around in my brain about the political scene as it now stands! I'm just not sure I have the words to form a post of any interest at this point.

We are full-swing in our new ministry. My heart is already moved beyond description at the enormity of the needs represented. We live in such a needy world, don't we? It doesn't take a growing human being long to learn how to put that smile and brave 'chin-up' facade on with all our other external paraphernalia before we go out to face the masses. But spend just a few minutes really attempting to connect with someone-a teen, a senior citizen, a pastor's wife, you name it-and you will be amazed at the wounds and hurts that lie just below the surface. It can seem overwhelming. These are the moments, however, when you're reminded that God can use your own past hurts and experiences to hopefully minister to the needs of others. These can also be the moments when you look back and realize how amazingly sheltered and safe your life has been, by comparison. If you think of us, particularly Derek, would you just breathe a prayer that God would anoint his influence on these kids and their families?

I have a friend who is a Kindergarten teacher in the local public school system here, and she shared some sad statistics w/me this last week. She teaches in a pretty rural school, here in the "heartland" of America. She has over 30 students (GOD BLESS HER!); 40 PERCENT of those kids are being raised by grandparents; around 30 percent in single parent homes; still others in foster care, and other living situations. ONLY TWO STUDENTS come from a traditional two-parent home. This just blew me away. I thought surely this must be a highly unusual class dynamic she has this year. She shrugged, "no, it's pretty close to the classes I've had in recent years." Doesn't that just break your heart? I found myself in tears as she shared some of these precious little childrens' stories with me. So much pain.

I've also found myself in tears as I watched a little coverage of evacuees fleeing the storms in the Gulf. An elderly gentleman with trembling hands and tears streaming down his face, as he vocalized fears that he wouldn't have a home to return to.

Well, it appears I have "created a post" after all. However, it seems that it is rather a downer, and I didn't intend it to be that at all! Indeed, I am excited to see what God is going to do in us and through us. His power to change lives and to heal hearts is still available to us today, and I mean to plug in to that power!

Blessings.

Changes, Part II

2008-08-12T17:31:00.003-04:00

Yes.....days in blog-world are STILL few. And how I do miss it! Eventually we'll be up and running again and I will blog with reckless abandon as in days of yore! :) Can't you tell I'm in need of a linguistic outlet?!

These have been a busy, busy, busy few weeks. And on top of that, they've been busy. Our little family has started doing some traveling and singing...something I never thought we'd do...and it's actually been really fun and uplifting. We even have the little trailer w/sound equipment in tow! How funny is that?! We've had 3 services this month, and have one service yet to do. We had two of them in Indiana, where we also managed to get in one night at Friends Campmeeting. (so sorry I missed you, Jody!) I enjoyed being at camp very much.

Then in the midst of all this, there have been the regular activities that keep us hopping at church. Derek has referred a couple of times on his blog to filling in for a service that is an outreach endeavor by another local church. Conversations had already been taking place about a possible move to this church around the first of the year. God's timing in the whole matter was different, however, and impeccable as usual. So, last Sunday Derek had the unpleasant task of rendering the resignation to our current congregation, as he plans to go on staff at the new church the first Sunday in September. This is a part-time Associate Pastor position that will most likely move to a full-time one within the next few months. Whew. BIG changes. I often tease Derek that I didn't date and/or marry a Pastor, Minister, or even a guy with those aspirations.....what a difference time makes, eh?! The calling on him is undeniable to me, though. So I am following him as he follows God. Any prayers on our behalf during this crazy time are appreciated. It is exciting as much as it is a little scary. We've been with our current congregation for six years, and we do love them. And I am attempting to resist the tendency toward guilt for leaving them. I can only assume that if God is leading us to something new then He must have something new for them, too.

If you're interested in learning a little about our new church, feel free to visit their website at www.winfumc.org. Derek's bio will be added to the staff page soon so be sure to check back!

Can't wait till I can get back online regularly and catch up on all of your blogs as well. I miss the connection!

Blessings.

Being Salt

2008-07-29T17:29:00.004-04:00

O ur computer is on the blitz right now. So days in blog-world are few. I miss it, but when I do get a sec to check blogs, I notice many folks are having few days in blog-world. Busy summers, I suppose.

We heard a really great sermon on Sunday morning by our new pastor. He held up a bag filled with a substance that looked like this:

You obviously recognize this as Salt, right?

Then he held up another bag with a substance that looked like this:

While everyone readily recognized the previous item as salt, it took quite some time for him to get the correct response to the question of what this second ingredient was. Did you recognize it also as salt?

The point was simply this, taken from Jesus' words to his disciples (and to us) that we are to be salt and light: the first item we recognize easily as salt, because it is in its refined form. The second bag of salt looked more like dirt. That's because unless salt is trampled and refined, and set apart from its natural environment, it looks like dirt! The Pastor reminded us that to be in this world and not of it, means that if all the salt were removed....meaning US as believers...all that would be left would be dirt! We have a responsibility to be the salt that brings out the God-flavors in this world (as the Message paraphrase puts it).

I appreciated the visual image and reminder. Let's all dedicate ourselves anew to BE SALT in this "dirty" world! We are here expressly for that purpose.

Blessings!

My Old Kentucky Home

2008-07-18T11:42:00.008-04:00

The children and I have begun laying the groundwork for a fun project next week. We are going to do a State notebook. I have really enjoyed doing a little research and determining what things we will include in our notebooks. Each child will do one, just with varying levels of difficulty and Sophie's will be primarily narration and coloring. There has been some nostalgia involved in the process for me, as well, since I have had some vivid memories of doing one of these during my elementary years at HSCA.( though mine was obviously a Floridian one!) It is amazing to me what the advancement of technology has done to the research process! I remember having to laboriously look through every letter of the Encyclopedia for the info I needed! Now, EVERYTHING one could desire to learn is at your fingertips through the Internet. For good measure, we will still be including book research done at the library simply because Mommy thinks that the tangibility of a book makes things come alive more!

All of that stated, once again a task that should be simple when taken at face-value has me thinking...and perhaps over-thinking....an issue. Example: I wanted to include the lyrics and a wee bit of history regarding our State Song: the lovely "My Old Kentucky Home" by Stephen Foster. I have thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity to hear many varying classic arrangements of this song via the delightful internet and YouTube. Digression: I even found a 1917 recording of the song being sung by Margaret Woodrow Wilson; the record was being sold at the time to raise funds for the Red Cross during WWI! How cool is that?! But then I also found what turned out to be my personal favorite; a recording by the legendary Paul Robeson, an African American who sang the song with its original lyrics referring to "darkies". He sang with so much pathos and sincerity that it is riveting. One school of thought states that the original lyrics were really referring to an abolitionist attempt to expose the plight of slaves at that time, particularly those being sold out of the state of Kentucky into the deep South where life was sure to be even more unbearable, and death was sure to come more quickly. Still.....it's such an uncomfortable topic and has been for so long that the words to the song were long ago changed and younger generations probably have no clue that the line stating "where the people are happy and gay" used to in fact say "where the darkies are happy and gay." The subsequent verses clearly talk more about the life of a slave. Replacing those words with general "people" terms does leave a reader in somewhat a state of confusion. In the context of slavery the whole song makes more sense. When you do a search for the lyrics of the song, you are more likely to find the revised version.

Is it intellectually/historically dishonest to have my children use the revised version in their notebooks and avoid the whole discussion of the controversy? They are ages 5, 7, and 9. Or do I go ahead and tell them what it used to be and what it is now, with as simple an explanation as I can muster?

So you see how I've managed to take a fun summer project and turn it into a full-blown historical debate?!? I really want to strike the balance between honesty, respect, and appropriate subject matter when dealing with these delicate topics. I want my children to know the truth: the question is when?

I would love to hear from all my readers what your opinion is on this. Should I include the original or revised lyrics? Or both?

UPDATE: I wanted to make somewhat of a disclaimer regarding my praise of singer, Paul Robeson. I would encourage my readers to "Google search" his name and read his biography. It is both an American triumph and tragedy. Obviously, he lived in a time in American history where he knew all too well the depth of racial prejudice. A visit to the Soviet Union in the 20's caused him to feel like a fully liberated human being for the first time in his life. Because of that, he was sympathetic toward and impressed by the concepts of socialism. It is a fascinating story. Nonetheless, this man had an amazingly soothing voice that still moves listeners even today.

Tales from the Sun

2008-07-16T19:19:00.003-04:00

The story I'm about to relate will certainly strike you as a wee tad bit disrespectful on the part of my son. And I did indeed deal with it as such, but it still has its humor and once again illustrated to me the mysterious working that is the mind of the male species.

In an effort to make the lawn chair not quite as hot in the afternoon sun, Cameron began pouring his glass of drinking water down the back of it. I told him to please stop 'wasting' water. He replied, "It's not wasting; it's just another use for it." Again, disrespectful I know. But I was floored at his quick deductive reasoning. :)

And on another entirely unrelated and wacky train of thought: I had a flash of memory while outside playing with the kiddos this afternoon. So to prove to Kayla, Kimber, and others that I haven't completely succumbed to dementia, I thought I'd share my private chuckle. Unfortunately, it will only mean something to a very small percentage of my readers. Sorry about that! Sophie's lovely locks were glistening in the light of the sun. Suddenly, I thought..."Oh...don't call it red; Call it AW-BURN!" :)

Auto-Pilot

2008-07-10T09:52:00.003-04:00

I have had the rather unnerving experience of arriving at a destination after a 20-30 minute drive, only to put the van in park and think to myself, "I don't even remember the drive here!". Looking back over the miles I'd just traveled, I would realize that I had just been automatically doing the right things to get me where I needed to go. Still a little scary, though, and I know you know what I mean if you have ever done the same thing.

Equally as disturbing to me are the nights that I pillow my head in the darkness, and then think "Lord, did I commune with you on purpose today?" Sometimes the days seem so long, and that time of morning prayer or prayer with the children seems like a distant memory in the fog by the time I wind it all down for the night. God is so faithful, forgiving, and longsuffering with me. How many nights have I fallen asleep whispering, "I'll do better tomorrow"......

I don't want to live my spiritual life on auto-pilot. I want to intentionally seek to understand the things of God more. I want to read His Word with anticipation of learning. I want to be a ready vessel when He wants to pick me up and pour me out. And I know these things don't happen when we're "asleep at the wheel". The Bible tells us to BE VIGILANT! We have an adversary who walks around seeking to destroy us!

Before I finish off these rambling thoughts, I wanted to add one more thing about God's mercy. There have been specific times in my life, the most recent one I remember being the weeks following Reagan' birth, when I have been too drained of everything physically, emotionally, and spiritually to be that "vigilant" watchman. That's pretty common I think after having a new baby! But there are other stages of life when this occurs as well. During those weeks, the only prayer I seemed able to pray, especially at night, was something like this, "Lord, please don't forget about me. Don't give up on me. I don't have anything to give right now, but if you'll just hold me until everything balances itself again...I WILL serve you with all that is within me!" I know that sure doesn't sound very spiritual or probably very theologically sound. But my testimony is that through those days of auto-pilot, God was still very much in the control room. Every night, I sensed that it was okay. He's big enough to handle it all. And, best of all, He did hold me until I was strong again.

I wouldn't want to live my life that way permanently, but I'm very thankful that when the circumstances of life necessitate it, we serve Someone who can be trusted to be there on the other side of it all. After all, perhaps it bears mentioning Who pilots this rig in the first place!

Well, I guess it's pretty obvious who these thoughts are for this morning: just me, really. But if it can serve as a reminder or wake-up call to any reader, then that's good news too.

I Peter 5:8-9 "Be sober, Be vigilant! Because your adversary the Devil, as a roaring lion walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world."

Dog Days of Summer...

2008-06-30T15:48:00.002-04:00

Thank you to all who expressed such kindness and compassion in my last post. Lauren is doing pretty well bearing her disappointment. I think it is going to be a long process of grasping the whole thing. In her grief, she has taken to begging for a puppy these days. She and her "band of brothers" (ha!) and sister have taken to new songwriting over the issue. My camera memory card was full the other day when I tried to grab it and catch them in the act: guitars strapped on, singing with all their might, "OH I wish I had a dog, I wish I had a dog, I wish I had a dog today. I wish I had a dog, I wish I had a dog, OH I WISH I had a dog TODAY!" And it went to other verses which I don't recall. My kids are a hoot.

I admit, Mommy and Daddy are both having a softy spot on the subject. So, who knows, maybe the day will come when we'll make our family addition announcement. Long about the time we would normally get 'baby fever' and there are no babies to be had! :) Yeah, that was probably too much information......

Yesterday was our first Sunday with our new pastor. I think it went exceptionally well for such a huge transition service. Things are different, to be sure, but we feel that as long as God does keep us serving in this congregation we're going to do so with all our might, and attempt to be as much a blessing as we can be.

My brain is rather tired now, and this is as much of an update as I seem to be able to muster. I apologize for the boring content of this post! I just thought it was time to post something new in place of the depressing post below.

Happy Independence week to you and yours! God Bless America!

Calling All Moms...

2008-06-20T16:10:00.003-04:00

Or Dads. Or Smart People who know more about life's challenges than I do.

My little girl has a broken heart. I mean a truly devastated, crushed and bleeding heart. And I don't know the best way to comfort her and advise her.

Ever since Lauren learned to read, she has had a thing for horses. She would read every book she could get her hands on about horses. First, the fictional chapter books about a little girl with a horse, etc. Then the how-to guides on caring for horses, showing horses, riding horses, etc. She loved the "Felicity: An American Girl Movie " in which the main character shared her passion for the animal. All of this happened long before Lauren ever got up close and touched one. Much less rode one.

Then last fall, the opportunity presented itself for Lauren to ride. And she was such a natural, putting all that she's read and heard into practice, that she was offered free riding lessons looking toward a future of showing their horses at all the local fairs and the Horse Park. Lauren was beside herself with joy. So ecstatic. So we had begun the lessons every week that the weather permitted. Each time the owners were so complimentary of Lauren's natural talent with the horse. Lauren has suffered with asthma, eczema, and severe nut allergies since she was very small. So we already carry an epi-pen and Benadryl everywhere we go. Her first couple of times on the horse she had some itchy red eyes, nothing too serious. We didn't even worry about it. Then at her last lesson, she began to break out into hives from her neck all the way up her face. Soon she was swollen like something you'd see in a movie. She got sick, and wanted down from the horse. I knew something must be bad wrong since nothing can usually get her down from that horse.

There had been fresh cut hay, and we were hoping and praying that that was it. However, we have spent the last two afternoons at the allergist office. And Lauren is allergic to horses. And it's such a significant allergy that he strongly discourages further contact with the animal. He feels that her reaction is on a progression that could swiftly lead to ana-phylactic shock or even death.

Breaking this news has been one of the hardest things I've faced in parenting. Lauren has cried till her eyes are swollen miserably. She is bemoaning the "unfairness" of it all. I have encouraged her to get all her feelings and thoughts out and express any of it she wants to to me. She told me "I feel sadness, and madness, and green-eyed monster jealousy. I bet Satan's having a great day for what he's done to me. And this is all Adam and Eve's fault anyway. How could they do such a terrible thing to bring sin into this world?" I know...it's pitiful and humorous all at once.

Up to this point, I have let her express her pain, and I have told her how sorry I am for her. That my heart is broken with hers, and that I agree with her that it is unfair. I've promised to help her through it the best that I can. But I have left all "spiritualizing" of the subject left unspoken. Lauren brought up Satan and Adam and Eve all on her own. :) I admit I was relieved that she didn't naturally revert to blaming God. But there probably is a spiritual lesson in here. And I want to find it. I'm just VERY RELUCTANT AND HESITANT as to what I assign to God and "His will". I'm waiting till Daddy gets home to even pray about this with Lauren. Because I feel like this is an incident that she's going to remember for the rest of her life, and how we present God's role in this will stay with her forever. No pressure or anything on us, huh????

How can we make this a life lesson that will count for something? How can we take advantage of this moment to treat fragile faith with care?

I humbly ask for your prayers...and advice. Whatever ya got. Seriously!

Changes

2008-06-18T18:22:00.008-04:00

I guess it would not be the unveiling of any great secret to reveal that I am rather resistant change. I'm not sure if it's a blessing or a curse sometimes. My pal Nathan has often expressed bemusement at my sentimental tendencies. I don't necessarily let people "in" very easily, but once they are there, they are part of the fabric of my life. Letting go is hard. Saying good-bye is excruciating. It's met with a fair amount of drama, I'm afraid. Sometimes I wish I were different in that way. Dare I confess that I've even cried at the tributes given in the recent death of distinguished newsman, Tim Russert?

I've said before that this blog is my piece of living history. This post in particular may be of no interest to any of you, and that's okay. I'm doing it more for the record. Ironically, I don't often share much at all about one of the biggest "chunks" of our lives. Namely, our church life. I rarely share pics or stories of any church-related events. I think that's primarily because my current life is in so many ways separate from my "past life" when my blogging friend relationships were formed. There are no connectors. No one at church knows any of my friends and vice-versa. Though, we did introduce Brent (and Sonja came too!) to our congregation last year, and that was such a treat.

We've been serving this congregation for 6 years now. And I'm continually reminded of how much I don't know regarding so many of the more formal Methodist traditions. One of those traditions is the practice of Pastor appointment. What a different experience for a girl from the CHM. I remember I was 14 yrs old when Bro. French resigned as Senior Pastor of Hobe Sound. This was around the same time that my Grandma died, and I just remember crying my heart out and grieving both losses. Then Pastor Pierpoint came, and obviously was still there till just last year. He and Bro. French married Derek and me. All the way into adulthood with primarily two pastors. After that point, we went on to work with Bro. Greg in Alabama. That was a deeply formed Pastor/Friend relationship. Another reason why his death was so traumatic. These men were all significant chapters in our life's history book.

In the Methodist tradition, when a pastor is ready to move on, or when the congregation is ready for that pastor to move on, they are simply moved on to a new appointment and the DS brings in somebody new for the local church. Derek and I have worked closely for the last six years with our Senior Pastor. It's been a really good working relationship from which a friendship was born. I think subconsciously I always thought we would move on before he did. But that was not to be. They have accepted a new appointment in Alabama (funny how that reversal works) in order to be closer to their adult daughter who has serious health concerns. Last Sunday was their last Sunday with us. We had them over for a late supper on Sunday night, and as they drove away a little after 11:00, I stood in tears. It's hard to fully express the feelings that have filled me. This experience of worshipping with, working with, learning with an entirely different group than the CHM has really been something. And I foolishly never expected the emotions to be quite the same. But then that brings me back to my opening paragraph. Sentimental old me.

One thing is certain. Six years is a pretty good stretch of time. And as I told Pastor Bill on Sunday, when we look back on our lives from now till the end of time, he will always be an important person on the pages of our story. He's been a friend, an encourager, a spiritual father, a mentor, and a teacher. He dedicated two of our children. And we are better for having known him.

In two weeks, we will gather in the sanctuary with the new pastor. One we have yet to meet. One we have yet to hear utter a sermon. One who has yet to hear us play or sing note. We only know his name. All this for a gal resistant to change.....what a journey we're on!

Pastor Bill beaming after his ordination as an Elder in the UMC, last fall.
Lifting up Reagan for Dedication.

Pictures from our Weekend

2008-06-13T11:37:00.024-04:00

Our family had a very different vacation this year (or "staycation" as Kimberly pointed out!). We stayed home for the biggest part of it, doing fun stuff around here. Sticking it in the eye of oil companies, as it were. I'm sure they were devastated. :) We did leave for a short weekend trip to Indy where we spent time with G-Pa and Nana, as well as provided a service of music in their Sunday worship service. God really helped us with that, and we feel that we received a blessing as well as provided one. Before we did that, we had "Family Fun Splash Day" in our own back yard. Our kids are still the age that if you give anything a title and dance around saying "YAY!" about it they think it's the greatest thing since sliced bread. We even have "Family Goes to Dentist Day!" and believe it or not it works. :) As a matter of fact, we did that last week too. Our kids have an AWESOME dentist that they are always very excited about going to. Anyway, I digress. The pics are basically in order. One pic of "splash day", on to Indy, Newport Aquarium on the way home (which I highly recommend to anyone who gets a chance to go), and then our local Japanese restaurant which we really love. Enjoy the pics!

We Trust in the Name of the Lord Our God

2008-06-11T20:21:00.004-04:00

I've been thinking about this old Steve Green song from the nineties. Sort of repeating it over to myself as a mantra. Hoping that its message will sink in deep into the fiber of my soul and rid me of the angst that our current political landscape can cause. If I'm being totally honest, I have to admit that the prospects for our nation's future frighten me. I need it to be more than a song; I need to know it is indeed God who raises up and tears down. I need to be reminded that God really is still in control of this world. I need resist the mentality that says, "Satan rules this world, we're going to hell in a hand basket, yada yada yada". I must embrace the HOPE that only comes from the knowledge of Jesus Christ.

I have observed over these last 7+ years during the Bush presidency, a level of vitriol and hatred for the man who holds the highest office that must surely be unprecedented. Of course, there are times when I have questioned his judgment in certain areas. There have been times that I have wondered if he's got it right. And there are times I'm pretty sure that he messed up. But amidst it all, I have felt SO perplexed when I have seen how much democratic pundits and others hate this man with all their might. They are so vicious in their personal attacks and mockery, and I have never been able to identify with it or to get it at all. Even during the Bill Clinton years, when I hung my head in shame at the defiling of the Oval Office, I still held a certain respect for said office. And I could watch and/or listen to Mr. Clinton speak at times, and I say to myself, "yeah, I totally get why some folks would love this guy." I saw the charisma. I saw the appeal to a certain degree. And after Katrina, when Clinton and Bush41 teamed up to appeal for help, I felt pride in our system.

After one of the debates, early on in this Primary season, I remember they had the Republicans debate first, and then there was a break before all the Democratic candidates came out. (Remember, this was back when there were like 740 people running for President! ha!) During that break, whichever network was hosting (don't remember) asked that all the candidates from both parties come out and greet one another. Maybe I should be embarrassed to admit this, but I watched that scene of them all shaking hands so cordially with each other.....political "enemies" as it were....and I actually shed a few tears. In that moment, I felt proud of our system. It didn't matter that I identified so much more strongly with one party than the other. I just thought how awesome it is that we change hands in our government and there is no bloodshed. There is no civil war. There is no rioting in the streets. That makes me proud to be an American.

I've done a lot of rambling up to this point, I know. I'm trying to work this to a cohesive conclusion, I promise. I've said all of this to say that I am afraid of what I feel when I consider that Barack Obama could really be our next President. I hear talk of the "pride" that all Americans should feel that we reached this "milestone" by having a black nominee. What's wrong with me? I feel no pride whatsoever. Give me a nominee worthy of the office, and I'll cheer regardless if he (or she) is purple, blue or green. My gut reaction when I hear this man speak is so intensely negative that I wonder if I would be able to hold the same respect for the "office in spite of the man" that I've always believed in. Will I be like one of those that I have judged in such perplexity? Will I be so blinded by my dislike of him that I can't support him at all? Will I be able to pray for him daily as I do our current President with the same ease and sentiment? Yes, I hope I never have to find out the answer to these questions! But I worry about these things.

And yes, I know I'm not supposed to worry. That's why I need reminded: "We Trust in the Name of the Lord Our God."

Some trust in chariots