I AIN'T NO SUPER-WOMAN

From all accounts, the previous generation(s) of women did things pretty differently than we do today. There were different expectations placed on them from the outside and even maybe from within themselves. For one thing, I think many of the day-to-day aspects of life--struggles and triumph--went without a lot of discussion and examination. People in general just didn't "get it all out" like we do nowadays. Our generation talks about everything, leaving no stone unturned in our efforts toward self-help and discovery. In many ways, I'm very glad that this area has changed. There is a lot more freedom of expression and respect for transparency. Sometimes, though, I wonder if we maybe "get out" a little too much. I feel almost like the effort to be honest and transparent can begin to sound contrived, thus making it counterproductive. I also wonder how far we should go in our efforts to let the truth be known about others' pre-conceived notions. FOR EXAMPLE, I was talking before in another post about my struggles with laundry, and disciplined housekeeping, etc. I really meant everything that I had to say. There were responses from several of you saying that you identify in areas of your own with this issue. I guess we can just all pat each other on the back and say "you're not alone" in this! Let's face it, the condition in which you would find my home if you came unannounced, would be VERY different than if you came invited. (truth be told, there would be days, that I would turn out the light and hide behide the drapes if I saw you coming!) But I know and have known some women that it doesn't bother them one bit, mess or no. They're just glad to have you pop in or come over by invitation, no matter what the condition of the house is! In some ways, I envy them in that. But I have digressed.

I was sharing with Julia on the phone how I know that many of the ladies I go to church with have the wrong idea about me. I mean, I do my best to "have it all together" when I go to church on Sunday morning. We "clean up real good" before heading off to the church house! We strive to do our best in our musical offerings, and in anything else that we may be part of. We expect the same from our children. And a couple of weeks ago, I had Lauren's hair in two french braids. NO BIG DEAL!! RIGHT?!? I actually had a lady say to me, that not only do I do all this music, and have four kids cleaned and ready for church, but I even do french braids! Her words: "you really are little Miss Betty Home-maker!" HA!

I guess somehow from her perspective that must be the truth. But from the standard I hold myself to, I am FAR from it. Derek thought he coined the phrase, "I'm a closet perfectionist" meaning that I hold myself to an impossibly high standard inwardly that I never meet outwardly. Yesterday I saw a book "Confessions of Closet Perfectionist", so I guess he missed his chance to gain any capital from his idea!

For all the rambling, I guess my point is this: do I have any responsibility to merge the conception of me with the reality of me? Or is it truly that we all just have different standards of what we consider "outstanding" and "perfection"? If we held everyone else to the same standard by which we judge ourselves, how would we view them? I think the lady at church must just be holding me up to her idea of "super-mom". Because in my own book, and by my own standard, I ain't no super-mom, super-woman, or super-wife. And to prove it, I'm even gonna leave that bad grammar unchecked and un-corrected! :)

Lists, Locks, and Learning

I'm making a list of promises to myself. They're just little things, really. But I'm sorta like Kimber in the whole list-making thing. I'm not a disciplined person by nature. In fact, that's putting it mildly. It's probably the biggest weakness I have. When you're a homeschooling mother of four, you better full-well get your act together and learn to be disciplined and organized! So I'm list-making. I promise to have clean undies in the drawers, so nobody has to go digging through the dryer for them...I promise to have the dining room table cleaned up every night, and ready for breakfast and school the next day...I promise to speak words of encouragement to my husband and my children EVERY day...and the list goes on and on. I feel like probably the last woman on the face of the earth to have to make such a list. It comes naturally to do these things...doesn't it?


Once again, life is all about striking those proper balances. As I mentioned before, we've been feeling plain "yucky" around here. Can't seem to shake the thing. So today was one of those 'laying around' kinda days. But all is not lost on days like this. My Sophie is my busy, busy bee. Goes a million miles a minute. Changes clothes a half dozen (or more) times a day. Makes up all kinds of imaginative tales. Cooks up all kinds of imaginary meals. Doesn't slow down for much at all. But TODAY, she snuggled up with me on the couch. Just huggin', talkin', gigglin', and lovin' on each other. And then I brushed her hair, attempting her first- ever french braid...which didn't last long. Unlike her big sister, Sophie's strawberry blonde 'locks' are fine and wispy. Hasn't grown nearly as long as Lauren's had by age 4. But Sophie was so proud of it, even if it did fall out in no time! SO, I enjoyed that down-time with my girl. Nothin' big, and it's not like I'm not with her 24 hours of every day...but it was just nice~!

I feel so enriched, and inspired by the things that many of you share on your blogs from time to time. It's hard to imagine that even this time a year ago, the word "blog" wasn't even in my vocabulary! And I think I mean that quite literally! But even as I entered into this world with a little fear and trembling, it didn't take long to realize that there was going to be benefits to reap from this kind of connection. I have learned things from others, received important reminders about priorities, and enjoyed the recommendations from people I respect! It's all good....and I thank you for the things that you share.

Well, the lull of the cool-mist humidifier is beckoning me...I really should invest in one of those 'white-noise' machines. I've come to love having that kind of sound filling the silence of the night. Anybody have one of those or know anything about it?

(Some weeks ago, we took the children to sing for the patients on the TCU"transitional care unit" Ward of the local hospital. They drew pictures, passed out treats, and visited with these dear people, a couple of whom were 100 years old! It was a good servanthood experience for the children...and for their parents. )