This is going to sound a wee bit like a rant. And I wish there was a way to avoid that. I'd like to express some opinions, at the risk of controversy and sounding like a whiny baby.
I've observed something for a while now, on various days of distinction. But particularly on days like today: Mother's Day. We live in such an equalizing society...where everything has to be level and even, and we don't want to make anyone uncomfortable....ever. I hear that schools now often give "participation awards" rather than recognizing actual achievements made. We just throw everything into one big pot, stir it up and dole out equal portions to all. Society, I mean.
The church falls prey to this, too. Sometimes I think we should rename Mother's Day as "Female's Day". We're so afraid of somehow hurting somebody's feelings or leaving someone out, that we bend over backwards to honor females in general....and in the process, I think something very precious and valuable is lost. And that is the opportunity to actually give HONOR to the women who are MOTHERS!
I told you up front this was a risky post. I sure don't want to sound like I'm against honoring females....let's go for it! Let's honor everywhere everywhere at all times.......but on MOTHER'S
DAY let's try to remember to honor motherhood!!
While many people fill nurturing roles, and have "maternal" spirits, and all that is true, there is a unique intrinsic mystery that is part of the process of a journey in life called "motherhood". It can't be compared or lumped in with some other area or way of understanding. It is a great mystery and a great miracle to carry life within you....to do everything possible to bring that life safely into this world, to nurture, care for, and sustain that life that is utterly dependent on you. To constantly be on call 24 hrs a day for everything big and small.....to discipline, to train, to influence.....all of the things that we know Motherhood is and involves. Of course this includes adoptive Moms as well....even though that journey begins past the initial stages of life, once it's embarked upon it is a lifelong commitment and responsibility for those moms as well.
So I think that on Mother's Day, it should be about Mothers. Biological and Adoptive. But about Mothers. And Mothers only. Not women. Not men. Not society at large in it's "maternal" universe. About Moms.
And if that sounds whiny and ranty, then so be it. I guess since it's Mother's Day, I'll take the chance on being politically incorrect and hopefully getting a free pass!!!
To every Mother reading this.....I hope you manage to have a wonderful day that you can enjoy to the fullest. Don't beat yourself up for the areas where you lack. Be thankful for the fact that God trusted you enough to lend these souls into your care. Increase in your areas of strength, and know that with the dawning of each new day is a clean slate, and renewed mercies from above.
Now for my disclaimer: I think it is appropriate if people want to honor women in their lives who have been "like a mother" to them. I just think that should be an individual's decision. There are indeed some fantastic ladies out there who have played critical roles in the development of lives....even if they're not a mom. And if you have someone like that in your life, then by all means let that person know how much they mean to you!!! I just worry with it being corporately forced. I also want to point out, that sometimes when you just hand out Mother's Day flowers to everyone, even just newlywed girls for example, you do them the disservice of making the time when they actuallybecome a mother less special. If they take home a flower every Mother's Day, it devalues the flower received on the Sunday that they actually are a Mom for the first time. This is all just my two cents, worth nothing more I'm sure!
Disclaimer, Number Two: Another thing that is rarely talked about, but is very real, is that some people just don't have warm fuzzy feelings on Mother's Day at all. Maybe you got a bum rap in the Mother department and your Mom didn't do a very praise-worthy job as you were growing up. That is nothing for you to be ashamed of. That is your reality, and you have every right to own it. I don't think glowing, unrealistic tales of Motherhood do ANYONE a service on Mother's Day: whether you're one who didn't have a mom like that, or whether you yourself are not a mom like that! I don't think Mother's Day should be about honoring a fantasy or a fake angelic perception. It should simply be to give honor where honor is truly due. Again, each individual knows what that means for them. My thoughts here I guess were/are more directed at what is done as a corporate, public recognition of the holiday.
Whew! I'm done! :)
Showing posts with label Mother's Day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mother's Day. Show all posts
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Monday, May 12, 2008
Measuring Moms
It is usually incumbent upon me to have something special planned for Sunday services honoring such days as Mother's Day. It can become difficult to find material year after year. This year, I wrote some thoughts to share with mothers, and Derek wrote a song which was greatly enjoyed by us all. Had I also been in charge of choosing the gift presented to the moms, I probably would have had little measuring tapes w/the church's name printed on them to hand out. You can actually find stuff like that: I checked! I thought I'd post my reading here in hopes that it may be of use or benefit to some other Mama out there! I trust it was a happy Mother's Day for all my blogging mother-friends and blogger friends who have Mothers. :)
Women in their roles as mothers are just as different as the very children they bring into this world. Different parenting styles, different strengths, different weaknesses, different talents, different backgrounds. I believe, however, that in the large throng of motherhood, there are some distinct threads of one-ness. I can't speculate on generations of Mothers Past, but I do believe that Moms today share a secret item, invisible to the naked eye, that many of us just may have here with us this morning. No, I will not ask the moms to dump out their purses and diaper bags as we search for this item! I will give you some clues, though, and you can be thinking if you recognize this familiar thing in your own life.
Ready? Let’s begin!!
Ready? Let’s begin!!
This object usually starts out rather small when your babies are small. After some nagging doubts whether your little one is growing properly and being cared for well enough, the item grows. Then your child reaches toddler hood, and you find yourself with barely a moment to sit as you chase them around all day: your mind races: did you read to them enough, remember to play peek-a-boo, and count to ten today? Are they getting enough vegetables? Ah, the little item just grew a little bit bigger. By the time your child reaches adolescence, the back of your mind is plagued with all sorts of questions: are you steering them in the right direction? do you have the answers for the difficult questions they ask all the time now? are you making the right decisions for their future? have you trained them well enough to be respectful of others? Do they have a solid foundation of what it means to be a Christian? Somewhere during all these years, the family has usually been added to, sometimes more than once!, and so, of course, the questions are multiplied.
And we Mothers, like Pilgrim in John Bunyon's famed classic Pilgrim's Progress, get up every morning, and without much thought we take that burdensome item on our backs and carry it with us throughout the day allowing it to affect us in all that we do. Have you recognized it yet? It's called GUILT.
I don't think Mothers actually question its presence much anymore, it's become such a routine part of our lives. And it comes with one of those bonus gifts, as well! A very special, barely-perceptible, easily-portable Measuring Tape. We whip that handy dandy little gadget out with great expertise in no time flat. We usually hold it up to other moms, and upon determining that we just don't measure up to the great feats being accomplished by them, we just heap more Guilt into the giant burden-pack that we're carrying around. "Her home is so much more beautiful and better decorated than my home." "She never has those pesky little black circles under her eyes like I do." "She is so much more put-together and organized than I am." "Her children are so much better behaved than mine are." And on and on it goes. It is my firm suspicion that while I haven't proceeded past the stage of adolescence in rearing my own children, if this burden is not removed and dealt with properly it will just continue to hound us and haunt us even into the grandmother-hood stage of life.
Many times we come to church on Mother's Day Sunday; we have our Guilt-burden firmly in place on our backs, and we have our portable Measuring Tape securely strapped to our side. When we hear the glowing description of the Proverbs 31 woman (who looms above us all in an un-reachable manner that I don't think Scripture intends), or when we hear the testimonies about other mothers who have usually passed on to their eternal reward, we hang our heads in shame as we once again apply the Measuring Tape only to find ourselves coming up short.
I believe with all my heart that if I told you, ladies, that as you file out of the service this morning, you would be receiving a gift; but instead of a flower or candy, or whatever it may be.......that today we would be handing out large heavy backpacks for you and that they come with a 100% guarantee to make you a better mother.... every one of you would put it on. You would carry it in all its burdensome heaviness and you would do it gladly if it would ensure that your children would be all that they could be, being productive members of society and living lives of success, blessing, and prosperity.
Of course that’s not the case this morning. In our human strength, we have no such guarantee. But in fact, I would like to ask you to do just the opposite. I would like to ask each mother here this morning, to instead, take off the burden that you wore with you today. Lay it down. Leave it here. And I would ask something else....let's trade in those Measuring Tapes. Let's trade in the ones that measure us up to other people, other Moms, and always leave us feeling hopeless and failing. In exchange, let's accept a much better system of measuring! One that measures the Mercies of God, which are new every single day. The Grace of God which He bestows on each one of us, regardless of our worthiness. The Wisdom of God, a priceless GEM in the business of child-rearing, which the Bible tells us that God will give us LIBERALLY if we ask it of Him.
When we begin to measure those invaluable resources, and recognize that we as His children are tapped right into them, I think we can gladly trade in our Guilt, and we can leave here this morning full of Hope, Joy, Peace, and Love. With our heads held high: WE ARE MOTHERS!!! AND WE ARE NOT AFRAID. WE ARE NOT ASHAMED.!!!!
And we Mothers, like Pilgrim in John Bunyon's famed classic Pilgrim's Progress, get up every morning, and without much thought we take that burdensome item on our backs and carry it with us throughout the day allowing it to affect us in all that we do. Have you recognized it yet? It's called GUILT.
I don't think Mothers actually question its presence much anymore, it's become such a routine part of our lives. And it comes with one of those bonus gifts, as well! A very special, barely-perceptible, easily-portable Measuring Tape. We whip that handy dandy little gadget out with great expertise in no time flat. We usually hold it up to other moms, and upon determining that we just don't measure up to the great feats being accomplished by them, we just heap more Guilt into the giant burden-pack that we're carrying around. "Her home is so much more beautiful and better decorated than my home." "She never has those pesky little black circles under her eyes like I do." "She is so much more put-together and organized than I am." "Her children are so much better behaved than mine are." And on and on it goes. It is my firm suspicion that while I haven't proceeded past the stage of adolescence in rearing my own children, if this burden is not removed and dealt with properly it will just continue to hound us and haunt us even into the grandmother-hood stage of life.
Many times we come to church on Mother's Day Sunday; we have our Guilt-burden firmly in place on our backs, and we have our portable Measuring Tape securely strapped to our side. When we hear the glowing description of the Proverbs 31 woman (who looms above us all in an un-reachable manner that I don't think Scripture intends), or when we hear the testimonies about other mothers who have usually passed on to their eternal reward, we hang our heads in shame as we once again apply the Measuring Tape only to find ourselves coming up short.
I believe with all my heart that if I told you, ladies, that as you file out of the service this morning, you would be receiving a gift; but instead of a flower or candy, or whatever it may be.......that today we would be handing out large heavy backpacks for you and that they come with a 100% guarantee to make you a better mother.... every one of you would put it on. You would carry it in all its burdensome heaviness and you would do it gladly if it would ensure that your children would be all that they could be, being productive members of society and living lives of success, blessing, and prosperity.
Of course that’s not the case this morning. In our human strength, we have no such guarantee. But in fact, I would like to ask you to do just the opposite. I would like to ask each mother here this morning, to instead, take off the burden that you wore with you today. Lay it down. Leave it here. And I would ask something else....let's trade in those Measuring Tapes. Let's trade in the ones that measure us up to other people, other Moms, and always leave us feeling hopeless and failing. In exchange, let's accept a much better system of measuring! One that measures the Mercies of God, which are new every single day. The Grace of God which He bestows on each one of us, regardless of our worthiness. The Wisdom of God, a priceless GEM in the business of child-rearing, which the Bible tells us that God will give us LIBERALLY if we ask it of Him.
When we begin to measure those invaluable resources, and recognize that we as His children are tapped right into them, I think we can gladly trade in our Guilt, and we can leave here this morning full of Hope, Joy, Peace, and Love. With our heads held high: WE ARE MOTHERS!!! AND WE ARE NOT AFRAID. WE ARE NOT ASHAMED.!!!!
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Keri's Annual Mother's Day Luncheon and some Joyful Noise
My readers may recall that I shared last year about my sister Keri's tradition of hosting a brunch for the ladies of her family every Mother's Day weekend. This was her first year to host it as a married lady in her own home, and she opted to have it this Saturday and do an afternoon luncheon instead.
The number of ladies present certainly increased this year since Keri gained a new mother-in-law, sis-in-law, grandma-in-law, as well as the upcoming addition of Monee' to our family.
Keri puts a lot of time, effort, and love into making this a special time. She sends out personal invitations, even if we're just across town. And my little girls think it's so cool that they're included too. When we arrive, she always has a notecard addressed to each guest at their place setting with a touching personal note. Those always mean a lot to me, and again, my girls feel so big and special to be included. We always try to take the time for a few generational pictures at this event. I didn't seem to get quite as much of a variety of pictures this year, but I think the ones I have are pretty special.
Keri's menu: Linguine with Shrimp or Chicken; Breadsticks; Fresh Apples and Grapes with Marshmallow Creme Dip; Miniature Cheesecakes, original and orange w/chocolate (yum!); Black and White Cookies; homemade Madeleines; Lemonade or Iced Tea with strawberries. And she sent each guest home with an adorable little box of four cupcakes with homemade buttercream frosting. It was all delicious....
Beautiful job, Keri!
As for the Joyful Noise part, I thought I'd throw in a completely unrelated element for your viewing pleasure! Our children sang during church this morning, and Derek video'ed them during their practice before service. I thought it was actually better during the service, but this gives you an idea anyway! Enjoy! (I think Sophie's serious facial expression is hilarious, and she had that same look during church! She takes it very seriously! :) )
Warning: You should be prepared to adjust your volume DOWN...it's a little loud! Sorry...
The number of ladies present certainly increased this year since Keri gained a new mother-in-law, sis-in-law, grandma-in-law, as well as the upcoming addition of Monee' to our family.
Keri puts a lot of time, effort, and love into making this a special time. She sends out personal invitations, even if we're just across town. And my little girls think it's so cool that they're included too. When we arrive, she always has a notecard addressed to each guest at their place setting with a touching personal note. Those always mean a lot to me, and again, my girls feel so big and special to be included. We always try to take the time for a few generational pictures at this event. I didn't seem to get quite as much of a variety of pictures this year, but I think the ones I have are pretty special.
Keri's menu: Linguine with Shrimp or Chicken; Breadsticks; Fresh Apples and Grapes with Marshmallow Creme Dip; Miniature Cheesecakes, original and orange w/chocolate (yum!); Black and White Cookies; homemade Madeleines; Lemonade or Iced Tea with strawberries. And she sent each guest home with an adorable little box of four cupcakes with homemade buttercream frosting. It was all delicious....
Beautiful job, Keri!
As for the Joyful Noise part, I thought I'd throw in a completely unrelated element for your viewing pleasure! Our children sang during church this morning, and Derek video'ed them during their practice before service. I thought it was actually better during the service, but this gives you an idea anyway! Enjoy! (I think Sophie's serious facial expression is hilarious, and she had that same look during church! She takes it very seriously! :) )
Warning: You should be prepared to adjust your volume DOWN...it's a little loud! Sorry...
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Well, as I sit down to write tonight, it's the end of a very long, tiring day; actually a long, tiring weekend! It' s certainly held its highlights, though. I want to pause and add my gratitude to my Mom for all her hard work and years of instruction and direction. A lot of the best things I know about being a Mom I learned from my own mother, long before I ever read a parenting book. On a day like Mother's Day, there is a tendency to 'graduate' every mother to sainthood; much like we do after someone's death. I'm not going to make that mistake: my Mom's not perfect. She has feet of clay and sometimes we just flat out don't see things eye to eye. But the things that she has done right, she has done RIGHT. And they are the important things. She is a giver who keeps on giving when there's nothing left to give. Her parents could ask for no better care-giver, her children could ask for no better champion, and her grandchildren are about as lucky as any little children could be to call her "Jam". Mother's Day is usually a day she feels like she's failed to measure up. I just want to say you've done good, Mom. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
I mentioned that my sister hosts Mother's Day Brunch for the gals in our family. She really makes it special with all her special little touches. We try to take some generational pictures at these gatherings so we'll have them as future treasures. I thought I'd post a few. Still can't believe a whole year has passed since last time we gathered for the morning. That was one baby and more pounds than I care to think about ago.........!
My precious baby girls
Two Sisters with Image Issues!!
Four Generations.....
My Sweet Sophia with Penelope (Keri's 'baby')
My Lovable Lauren
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Brain- Picking....
This is not at ALL like nose-picking. And I should know...! (for those of you who remember my 5 Experience Day story from Ukraine!)
Julia encouraged me to move along to a new blog so that the string of comments would come to an end on my previous one. Hence, she still holds the title strong and true! It was a good discussion, though, and I hope we can continue bouncing that kind of helpful info off of one another. Also, thanks for the birthday well-wishes. I'm old now, and at the stage in life when birthdays don't feel very exciting anymore; usually get a little melancholy, to tell the truth. But Sonja sent me the BEST little e-card that gave me the greatest laugh! Thanks, friend
Back to brain-picking. I have all kinds of little things I'd like your ideas on. First, I always try to plan something for the special services on the church calendar: i.e. Mother's Day. The last few years I've pulled out my best stuff and I'm just coming up blank this year. I would like to find a really great reading or poem about Motherhood that's not just cliche' (I can't bear cliche') or even a nice idea for a dialogue/monologue or something. I think I'm going to share a song entitled The Blessing that I've also heard on the radio lately. It's not specifically about mothers but I like the message it sends. The predominant line in the song is "let it be said of us...." and then goes on to share about the legacy that we as Christians want to leave behind. I did the Nicole Nordiman "LEGACY" song for Father's Day last year, so this will be a nice build on that,I think. SO anyway, if you could send your brilliant brain-waves this direction, I would SO APPRECIATE it! Oh, I did think of one thing I may do. I found a collection of quotes entitled, "what have American presidents said about their mothers?". These are WONDERFUL one and two-liners by a whole host of former Presidents about their moms. I'm a presidential history junkie so I loved these. I thought I would have Derek put them into Powerpoint and have them scrolling on the overhead as people come in for Morning Worship. Whadya think?
Next, I'd like to share that my little sister became engaged on her 29th birthday! (two weeks ago). She was so excited and is planning for a fall wedding. I've been trying to help her with the planning in whatever way I can. She has a pretty good vision for what she'd like but could use some suggestions and fresh ideas too! Would any of you care to share what is your favorite unique thing you've seen done *or had done!* during a wedding ceremony or reception. Julia, I do know she's been looking more into the covenant side of marrriage. I told her that was your predominant "theme" so if you have any tidbits to pass on, she's appreciate that. And Marty, I think you're the only one I remember having taken communion (could be wrong about that), but if you have any ideas on that, great. But this is really open to you all: married and non. Favorite wedding ideas???
And to sum it up, I've been GREATLY enjoying the recipe exchange! Last Friday, I fixed Kayla's Ziti Melt and Heather's cappucinno muffins for dinner. My family did indeed arise and call me "BLESS-ED"!! I ended up having to make a second batch of those muffins on Sunday evening! Kim, these are to die for with a good cup of coffee! Anyway, I am getting ready to remove my pancake recipe and replace with something else. Just a warning if you want to print it off or anything! Back to ideas: I was thinking of hosting the Sunday Dinner on Mother's Day. My mom does it EVERY WEEK like I mentioned before. Serves an army every Sunday. She deserves a week off, doncha think?!? But now I think my Dad is gonna grill something to give us all off for the main dish. I'd like to do some side dishes that are really special though. Once I know what cut of meat we're grilling (t-bone, filet, etc.) I 'll pass it on if that will help. I really wanted to step it up from the typical casseroles: broccoli or green bean, etc. I want something unique and GOOOOOOOOD! Thanks for your ideas in advance.
Well, I hope you take this as a compliment for my deep confidence in all your brilliant minds and not that I'm a mind-less sponge!!!! I look forward to your responses, that I know we'll all benefit from.
Have a most excellent, delightful day!
p.s. I think I had left a couple of responses to people on my previous blog: this is where the blogging gets confusing. How to move from conversation to conversation and not waste a comment! Oy!
Julia encouraged me to move along to a new blog so that the string of comments would come to an end on my previous one. Hence, she still holds the title strong and true! It was a good discussion, though, and I hope we can continue bouncing that kind of helpful info off of one another. Also, thanks for the birthday well-wishes. I'm old now, and at the stage in life when birthdays don't feel very exciting anymore; usually get a little melancholy, to tell the truth. But Sonja sent me the BEST little e-card that gave me the greatest laugh! Thanks, friend
Back to brain-picking. I have all kinds of little things I'd like your ideas on. First, I always try to plan something for the special services on the church calendar: i.e. Mother's Day. The last few years I've pulled out my best stuff and I'm just coming up blank this year. I would like to find a really great reading or poem about Motherhood that's not just cliche' (I can't bear cliche') or even a nice idea for a dialogue/monologue or something. I think I'm going to share a song entitled The Blessing that I've also heard on the radio lately. It's not specifically about mothers but I like the message it sends. The predominant line in the song is "let it be said of us...." and then goes on to share about the legacy that we as Christians want to leave behind. I did the Nicole Nordiman "LEGACY" song for Father's Day last year, so this will be a nice build on that,I think. SO anyway, if you could send your brilliant brain-waves this direction, I would SO APPRECIATE it! Oh, I did think of one thing I may do. I found a collection of quotes entitled, "what have American presidents said about their mothers?". These are WONDERFUL one and two-liners by a whole host of former Presidents about their moms. I'm a presidential history junkie so I loved these. I thought I would have Derek put them into Powerpoint and have them scrolling on the overhead as people come in for Morning Worship. Whadya think?
Next, I'd like to share that my little sister became engaged on her 29th birthday! (two weeks ago). She was so excited and is planning for a fall wedding. I've been trying to help her with the planning in whatever way I can. She has a pretty good vision for what she'd like but could use some suggestions and fresh ideas too! Would any of you care to share what is your favorite unique thing you've seen done *or had done!* during a wedding ceremony or reception. Julia, I do know she's been looking more into the covenant side of marrriage. I told her that was your predominant "theme" so if you have any tidbits to pass on, she's appreciate that. And Marty, I think you're the only one I remember having taken communion (could be wrong about that), but if you have any ideas on that, great. But this is really open to you all: married and non. Favorite wedding ideas???
And to sum it up, I've been GREATLY enjoying the recipe exchange! Last Friday, I fixed Kayla's Ziti Melt and Heather's cappucinno muffins for dinner. My family did indeed arise and call me "BLESS-ED"!! I ended up having to make a second batch of those muffins on Sunday evening! Kim, these are to die for with a good cup of coffee! Anyway, I am getting ready to remove my pancake recipe and replace with something else. Just a warning if you want to print it off or anything! Back to ideas: I was thinking of hosting the Sunday Dinner on Mother's Day. My mom does it EVERY WEEK like I mentioned before. Serves an army every Sunday. She deserves a week off, doncha think?!? But now I think my Dad is gonna grill something to give us all off for the main dish. I'd like to do some side dishes that are really special though. Once I know what cut of meat we're grilling (t-bone, filet, etc.) I 'll pass it on if that will help. I really wanted to step it up from the typical casseroles: broccoli or green bean, etc. I want something unique and GOOOOOOOOD! Thanks for your ideas in advance.
Well, I hope you take this as a compliment for my deep confidence in all your brilliant minds and not that I'm a mind-less sponge!!!! I look forward to your responses, that I know we'll all benefit from.
Have a most excellent, delightful day!
p.s. I think I had left a couple of responses to people on my previous blog: this is where the blogging gets confusing. How to move from conversation to conversation and not waste a comment! Oy!
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