Friday, April 13, 2007

Will the real ME please stand up?

Kim mentioned something in a past blog about 'overthinking' things. I am like that, too. For example, when I sign on and check my blog for comments, etc., I see my life neatly packaged with all the cute pics, and the stories about my day and I wonder if it's hypocritical. Oh, not that all of it isn't TRUE, but it's only a part of what I am like, and what my life is like. I don't have pictures of the yucky parts, you know? And I guess that's normal and that's okay. I just want to strive for authenticity in my life. And I want to be able to be a blessing to others along the way, too.

Tonight, I began re-reading a book my Papaw gave us several years ago. It's the "Imitation of Christ" by Thomas 'a Kempis (1380-1471). This book is phenomenally convicting, and may be part of the reason for the serious tone of this blog (!), but I did want to share part of it that I particularly found to ring true. Chapter 3 is worth quoting in its entirety, but I will refrain! It is entitled "On the Teaching of Truth". He says, "What harms and hinders you more than the undisciplined passions of your own heart? Who has a fiercer struggle than he who strives to conquer himself? Yet this must be our chief concern-to conquer self, and by daily growing stronger than self, to advance in holiness."

My biggest struggle has always been self-discipline, and though I conquer it more with time, it is still such a battle! And I have a big job to do, leading 4 little ones to God. It's a task I can't afford to fail.

Well, anyway, it's not like I have to tell you all that I'm not perfect. Most of you know me way too well to buy that! But somehow that's comforting to me. That means you're really my friends. And I am really yours. I still plan to post cute pics and share what's on my mind. But I just felt like I needed get all this off my chest first.

I feel a song coming on..... Stevie Wonder melody......'that's what blogs are for'....through good times and bad times'....!!!

That has to be a sign that it's time to close!
Blessings,
th

7 comments:

~Heather~ said...

How interesting that you wrote this...and before I read your blog, I read what you wrote about your home maybe not being as neat as you want it right now, with this brand new baby. So, I decided to come to your blog and write a comment and then I read your latest post. That is good! I KNOW we Mother's want to always have a CLEAN house, nothing on the floors, nothing out of order...but like you said our kids are the MOST IMPORTANT! I have not had 4 kids (yet) but I'm sure that it is challenging. There is a poem that I love that says, "So dishes be quiet, and dust go to sleep...I'm ROCKING MY BABIES... AND BABIES DON'T KEEP!" I'm in the rainy season in Colombia (UGH!) with tile flooring, but 25 years from now, my kids won't remember if the floor was perfect, but HOW I SHOWED JESUS TO THEM, and the time we spent making cookies, and just being together, etc. =)
God bless you, and have a GREAT day in Jesus! You are a great Mother!
Love, Heather

Anita Dalkin said...

Just wanted to say that I found your blog and have enjoyed catching up on your life. Love the pictures of your family. ~Anita(Kerr)Dalkin (Fellow missions major from HSBC)

Kimberly Neuenswander said...

Tara...really loved this one...grateful to have friends who are REAL...and maybe it's we "overthinkers" but it is soo easy in any new endeavor to only reveal the "cool" stuff...but I think most of the stuff of life is pretty great...stuggles, doubts, and all!

Ladyluck said...

I absolutely want you to keep posting the "real" stuff. I'm so grateful to be back in contact with you via blogging. It means a lot to see how other mothers deal with the immense challenge of raising their children for God in the midst of this weird and wacky world we live in.
To see ladies (like you, Yulia, Rebecca, Martha)whom I love and respect, who I know share the same goals for our children, unveil their struggles and triumphs, is going to be such an encouragement for me.

Juwah said...

Tara;

You're not perfect????? Wow, I have to admit, you've rocked my world now. So who else isn't perfect? The list could be endless.
Seriously, I'm with ya sister on overthinking things. I've been tempted to write a blog about one of those days that from sunrise to bedtime our boys seem to be trying to prove, by their behavior, that human beings are in fact, born in sin. (some days I'm tempted to believe in Total Depravity ) ;)

Tara said...

Juwah,

If you'll just keep this between you and me, and not tell anybody else, I'll let you in on a secret: I really am perfect. This whole blog is a charade.
SHHHHH!
I just didn't want your world rocked too badly!
th

Marty said...

Loved the Sophie story!! I am needing the Lord to speak out loud to me in 3 specific areas this week. Can you ask Sophie her secret? I've also been thinking about putting a picture of my laundry room on my blog....that is the real me today! Peyton was up last night with a stomach virus and fever and I was supposed to work today....that didn't happen. I pray he is better soon! Have a great weekend!