Monday, September 24, 2007

Random Ramblings...

Jenny observed about herself that she is wildly inconsistent, and yet very opinionated. That thought describes me so well these days that I just decided to open this blog with it, and get it out there. So there you have it. If you can trust the writings and ramblings of such a one, then read on, dear people!

I begin with the fact that I have been in such an oddly contradictive mood regarding my blogging. I have been vascillating frequently (in my mind) between closing up shop and not posting anything new at all, and then sitting here typing all kinds of blogs on various topics and just leaving them in my 'drafts' folder and not publishing them. There's been a lot of miscellaneous tidbits floating between the ears lately. And they're probably not even worth sharing!

One such thought is in regards to a Saturday afternoon debate I shared with my cousin, Jeremy. (who, incidentally I should ask your prayers for; he joined the Army and left earlier today for Boot Camp). This discussion was about the blending of SWEET and SAVORY. I do NOT like them blended: i.e., breakfast sandwiches where pancakes serve as the 'bun' for sausage, egg, and cheese(ew!), or a Bennigan's Monte Cristo sandwich where there is raspberry jam spread on turkey, swiss, rye, etc., and MOST HIDEOUS OF ALL, he told me about a Krispy Kreme HAMBURGER, PEOPLE!! Literally, a cheeseburger with a Krispy Kreme donut serving as the bun. I find this wrong on so many levels. Quite disturbing. We went 'round and 'round about this, but I remain faithful to convictions against the mixing of sweet and savory. So I threatened to do an online poll. But I'll settle for your comments on this to suffice. Whad'ya think?

This whole online tagging game roused some interesting observations about myself. For one thing, my first reaction to it was sort of "ugh", and I don't really know why. Upon further introspection, I think that my first thought was rather 'panicky', like I didn't have anything interesting to share. If you've read my blog for long, you would know that I consider my life to be very blessed as a wife and mother. I take the role seriously. But for some reason, when asked to name SEVEN things about MYSELF ALONE....I panicked!!! I think, without realizing it, that I had bought into some sub-conscious mumbo jumbo about being just a stay-at-home mom. Maybe somebody without much to offer when everything is stripped away and it's just me. I found that discovery surprising. Meanwhile, I went on to complete the tag task, and found that once I got into it I really enjoyed the trip down memory lane looking back at some things that were mostly about me. It's a fine line between self-obsession in this world and losing yourself completely.

School is going well. It's coming along consistently, which is a good feeling. I can't say that I've fallen in love with the Abeka program yet, but I am finding certain things to be very valuable. I think it was Laura F. that mentioned to me how great the drilling aspect of these early grades are, and she's definitely right. Abeka is great for drills. I'm still trying to figure out how to customize the program more to blend with the whole "homeschool" philosophy. It's a bit of a challenge. But at any rate, we're doing well, and I'm grateful for that.

We always like to encourage the kids to share their thoughts and suggestions for field trips, educational learning opportunities, etc. So we're driving along the other day, and Lauren asks, "Mommy, I have somewhere I'd like for our family to go for a field trip." "Sure, sweetie, what's your idea?" "Could we go to Egypt?" She couldn't really understand why I laughed.

Sonja blogged about the effect of sleep deprivation. There is indeed a reason why it is an approved torture technique to extract info from enemy combatants. My precious baby is having some sleep issues the last couple of weeks. After all the bragging I'd done about what a good baby, good sleeper....yada yada yada. (when will mommies learn not to do that?!?) I am convinced that there is something far worse than not getting sleep at all: it would have to be going to sleep...being awakend....going to sleep....being awakened.....going to sleep....being.., well, you get the idea. That can make a person crazy in not too short of time. Maybe I'm there, already.

One of my non-published blogs was about how I don't want to die alone. Long story short, my mom's 66 yr old cousin died last week. We provided music for the funeral on Saturday. This lady was an example to me in this: her life had held so much sorrow and heartache, and yet she maintained a deep faith and a desire to find strength in God. She had endured the death of her two precious little children, one as a baby, and the other as an 8 yr. old. Her husband had to have a heart transplant years ago, and has had to deal with all the issues that come with being a donor recipient, and her health has been poor as well. He died four months ago. And last Tuesday, she died during the night, alone. It seemed so sad, and so very lonely. Then I realized that at that moment, in Heaven, an entire family was reunited. What a comfort! What a hope!

I think I'm like most parents in that sometimes I've felt a twinge of a guilt for even bringing children into this world. Looking around, listening in, paying attention to the news, you could easily become disillusioned and think this world's no place for a child, anyway. I heard a preacher today comment that there could have been no worse time to have a baby than when Moses was born! Unless it would have been when Jesus himself was born into this world: baby boys were on a most wanted list. So, that gave a little perspective on that. For what it's worth. He did go on to remind me of a very important truth. Yes, children are an heritage of the Lord. Yes, blessed is the man whose quiver is full. Yes, having children can bring great joy. But the REAL joy isn't simply in the reproducing of children. The real joy comes from training those children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. To succeed in that awesome task is/must be/will be the fulfillment of the blessing in parenting. With God's help and by His grace, we trust that we will know that complete joy of having our whole family serving the King.

38 comments:

kayla said...

You lost me when you started the Monte Cristo. What's wrong with you?
It is a scary time to be raising kids. Hearing the news can send me into a panic attack. It is such a thrill though that as you realize they are reaching the "age of accountability" you start seeing the light dawning in their eyes. It makes it all worthwhile.

lauralavon said...

I have to agree (mostly) about the sweet/savory discussion. I don't mind a little jelly on a saugage-egg buscuit, but a donut as a burger bun--that's just too much!
BTW, our favorite DVD teachers, if they're still the same, were K5 and 4th. We felt that A Beka 4th grade was terrific. It kind of caps those early fact drilling days before the adventure starts to progress to the logic level.

I use to say, I slept like a baby--then I had one...
I hope your little guy will get his days and nights back on track soon. I know how difficult that can be!

Anonymous said...

Speaking of sleep deprivation, would now be a good time to ask for your bank account info and your credit card numbers? Just wondering. :)

I actually like sweet and savory occasionally - like the McGriddles from McDonalds (which I can't eat). I really love them on the rare occasion I splurge. Not sure about the whole donut thing, though. That just seems wrong.

Marty said...

Where do I begin? Kinda with you on the sweet and savory thing. Larry likes jelly and a sausage biscuit..not me. The older I get thou, my taste buds are changing. I used to not like a jelly salad or any of the sort with my main course. I'm starting to enjoy it now. I have recently started putting grapes in my chicken salad and come to LOVE it....this used to SO not be me.

Good prospective on the time to raise children...thanks!

Liz said...

My what an awesome and interesting post. So many things to consider. I do enjoy some sweet an savory, but Krispy Kreme sandwiches?! I think this is a little over the line. Totally agree with what you have to say about feeling guilty sometimes for even bringing children into this world. Guilty and greatly burdened with the task of raising them right. I love raising my daughter but it is scary and challenging knowing the responsibility that you carry for their souls. Oh.. Martha I too like grapes in chicken salad..also toasted walnuts and dried cranberries are a good variation too!

Kimberly said...

I knew you would push Kayla's Monte Cristo button!:) I like it all...even the McGriddle in moderation (Only had that 2xs...to be clear, I do NOT go thre on a regular basis)
I also am highly inconsistent...I love that Mark Lowrey line..."half the time I don't agree w/myself once I've said it"...but as long as we stay flexible and open to discussion I don't think that's a bad thing:)
Also vacilate(sp?) on the blogging thing...wondering if what I say matters and having entirely TOO much to say...doing the draft thing a bit....but trying to be disciplined.
and finally, a little fear w/children is a healthy thing...while doing what you're doing...creating that safe place at home that can't be found in the world. Love Ya!

Julia said...

AHH you tagged me. I so identify with your initial dread of coming up with 7 things. I'll try.
I'm with you on the sweet/savory thing. There's a place for everything and everything in it's place. (btw, this is a highly hypocritical statement.) I do like sweet/salty combos though. I think sausage/jelly people fall into that catagory somewhat.
So sorry about the sleep deprivation. I remember a friend of mine saying that when she was awakened at night over and over she thought "bad thoughts". Too funny.
I'm so with you on the "what have I done" feeling after finding out I was pregnant. Training them to obey, well that's a breeze, if obedience is your only goal. You can just spank/treaten/bribe obedience into existance. But training them to obey so that one day that will transfer to obedience to God and build relationship at the same time, well now that's a whole different level of training. To be honest, I struggle with feelings of inadequacy in this most of the time. However, my hope and strength is in the fact that I'm not in it alone. I'm trusting my heavenly Father to enable me. It truly is a huge job. But like you said, the rewards are awesome and eternal.

Charity said...

Don't you dare 'close up shop'- we all enjoy your 'ramblings' and marvel that you have time to do so. You go, girl!

Anita Marie said...

I had to do a google search to see what these Krispy Kreme Chicken sandwiches looked like. It makes my stomach turn. Yuck. I will tell you one thing it will never make it over here in the UK. The British just don't do sweet and savoury together. They think I'm crazy when I have peanut butter and jam sandwiches. Or if I have cranberry sauce with my turkey or candy yams.

Kelly S said...

Hi Tara. Taking some time today to do some blogging. Enjoyed your post. Please don't close shop! If for no other reason, it's a nice way to keep in contact. It's nice to share thoughts and ideas in raising our families, etc. It was nice seeing your updates.

Kim M. said...

~Enjoying your blog! Please don't stop... I do read your blog quite a bit even though I don't always comment. Your blogs are so thought provoking that there are times I think "where would I start to comment?! and I'd sound stupid if I gave my opinions.
~I don't know about the sweet & savory combos. I am not one to mix them often either. The donut sandwich sounds disgusting though.
~I am like everyone else about child rearing. I am always second guessing whether I am doing a good job or not. It's nice to know I'm not the only one. I think several of us blogger friends are "obsessed" in that area. But it's a good thing we are parenting on purpose.

Kimberly said...

Hey...isn't it time for a new one?:)

Tara said...

Kimber~ ha~!
I was fooling around with my blog last night and nearly DESTROYED IT! See how bare it is? I still haven't been able to retrieve some stuff. But I might cook up something to opine on before too long! :)

Anonymous said...

Opine? Really, Tara. :)

Making Memories 1999 said...

Thanks for your thoughts! I SO TOTALLY agree with the sleep-awake-sleep thing!! Nothing worse!!

I appreciated your thoughts on parenting: "To succeed in that awesome task is/must be/will be the fulfillment of the blessing in parenting." Good thoughts!

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