Making a Life-Plan, With the Rear-View Mirror in Mind

I've been making more visits to blog-world lately, albeit surreptitiously! I've enjoyed getting a wee bit caught up with those of my blogging friends who don't FB much.  And I've enjoyed just the good sharing and writing. I've even written some myself.  Alas, they remain in the draft folder.  Just not quite out of the funk enough to feel comfortable posting the things I've written. But I'm gonna give it the 'ol college try today! :)

Last weekend was a really special and meaningful for time for my husband and me.  We arranged to leave the kiddos with my parents for Friday night and Saturday, and we set aside time to focus on communication, prayer, and long-term planning for our family.  Derek had found this wonderful tool, an e-book by author Michael Hyatt on creating a personal life-plan.  We tweaked it a bit, to fit creating a Family Life-Plan.  We spent hours working on it.  Reading, thinking, writing, dreaming.  I thought I'd share just a bit of the overall information. 

Mr. Hyatt refers to 8 areas of our lives as "accounts"...places where we are regularly making withdrawals and/or deposits of our time, energy, affection, etc.  These 8 areas are: God, Self, Spouse, Children, Parents, Friends, Career, and Ministry. 

Here's how it works:  For each account, you write a purpose statement, an Envisioned Reality (this is your ideal standard of how this account should function); a Current Reality (this is a brutally honest assessment of what the truth is versus how you envision it should be);  and Specific Commitments (these are clearly defined steps that you intend to take to bring the vision and reality closer together. 

As you begin this process, Mr. Hyatt asks you to imagine that you are attending a very prestigious event in your life.  You imagine that all the people you love and care about are there.  The music is playing.  There are heavy gold drapes...a long aisle...and WAIT...you're there too...but you're in a box at the front.  It is your funeral.  He asks you to think about what you want people to say about you.  When I first read this part, I poo-pooed it, because in my experience with death (I have a lot), it just seems like it doesn't matter who you were, how you lived, or what you did.  When you die, everybody talks about you like you were a saint.  It's all rose-colored glasses at that point.  But I soon abandoned my skepticism of the exercise, because it led to something very deep and powerful.  I was asked to write out for each person in my life how I want to be remembered by them specifically.  Writing about yourself in the past tense and trying to sum up your most deeply-held desires in a paragraph is an emotional epiphany!  As Derek and I wrote our personal ones for each other and then shared them with each other, it was very tender and tear-jerking.  Really helps you trim away so many things and realize where you need to expend your energy in order to achieve that remembrance. 

Before I close, I thought I would just share one of mine, that I wrote down for the category of Friendship.  The faces of beloved friends came one by one to my mind as I wrote this, and I hope that I live my life so that they can honestly and without reservation remember me this way: "I want my friends to know that I loved them.  That I appreciated them, and that my life was so much richer for the joy of their friendship.  I want them to know that I was loyal to them, and that I would have with-held nothing that they needed that was in my power to give.  I want them to remember laughter, and multiplied 'guess you had to be there' moments.  I want them to remember precious moments in time that we consciously chose to make a priority.  I want them to know that they could trust me. I want them to feel that I reflected God's love for them.  I want them to remember me as a person who loved BIG, and who didn't wait till it was too late to say what was in my heart."

See what I mean?  Whew! It's a challenge to live well, isn't it?

Blessings and peace,

Tara

What's Up

We have been spending many hours working on the youth room at our church. It has literallly been an "extreme makeover" situation! We are tired, but thrilled with how the results are looking. We're having a big unveiling/open house this Sunday night. Looking forward to that a lot.

We enjoyed having Brent here for a quick visit and to perform at our weekly coffee house ministry a couple of weeks ago. We have such a great time being together, and our kids of course think he's just the coolest thing since.....well, anything cool. :) So good to be with friends.

Derek's computer just returned home today after weeks stuck in Texas for repair. Unfortunately, the timing of his sending it off for repair co-incided w/the hurricane disasters there in TX, so we were beginning to think we may never get the computer back. After I get the pics from Brent's visit uploaded, (the few I got to take before the camera died...grrrr....I'll put those up.)

We're doing well. Kids are growing like crazy.

Looking forward to watching the debate tonight. Not that it will make much difference, I'm afraid. These debates have done little to really get to the heart of matters. But I still watch them....they rile me up a little more! :) Supposedly the polls show McCain falling behind with three weeks to go. I am trying to prepare myself for the possibility of an Obama presidency, but oh how I cringe at the the thought. So that's 2 or 3 cents on my political thoughts.....a little but enough.

Blessings.

UPDATE: I decided to STEAL pics from Brent's facebook! :) So here are a few just for the kicks of it. :)

Considering Blackmail

So this is supposed to be our vacation week. We had intended and planned to be in Pigeon Forge this week, but events have conspired against us to make this impossible at the moment. However, since Derek already had the time coming to him from his job, we decided to just leave it that way. We've been hanging around home, doing all sorts of productive things that don't get the necessary attention during busy times. We've played games with the kiddos. We've sung around the piano. We've watched old home movies that we haven't pulled out in eons. And we've just been together. It's been a treat to have Daddy home every day, as he will continue to be till next Wednesday!!! It' s not the traditional kind, but we're still calling it VACATION and being thankful for what we've got. We're heading to Indy over the weekend to be with Derek's family and share music in their Morning Worship Service.



But speaking of watching those old home movies.....where do I begin? Let's just say that Derek and I were up until 2:00 IN THE MORNING last night laughing our fool heads off and plotting ways that we could easily blackmail and humiliate certain long-time friends if we so chose. Yes, that's right, we uncovered that cherished old classic "Homecoming" style music performed by our old gang of cohorts in Hobe Sound. It is starring Brent Vernon who portrays several characters such as Michael W. Smith, Jake Hess, Jonathan Martin, etc. There's Jani Beardslee who does quite a number on Sherri Easter and the blonde Martin girl, and of course Julia who successfully completes the Martin Trio. Yes, even Becca makes her appearance resembling the likes of Lillie Knall complete w/hat and pearls. Derek pulls off a Michael English. I do a scary Gloria Gaither. But let's face it, the star of the show was Sonja portraying Vestal in all glory, bedsheet wrapped 'round and all. Oh, I'm sure it was a "guess you had to be there" kinda moment, but it was the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. I was gasping for breath, and trying to keep from waking the kids up while we meandered down that Memory Lane. Good times....slightly embarrassing and humiliating times.....but GOOD times all the same.

That same video had parts that Julia recorded one Sunday night when we all hung at the
Vernons singing around the piano. There was some good stuff on that one, too! (Juwah, I have two videotapes of yours that I plan to mail out to you. There's stuff from Visions' tours to Grand Canyon, etc. )

So, what do you think? Should I try to devise a way to upload some of that charming material for your viewing pleasure?!? heh,heh....that ought to show 'em, huh, Kimberly?! (yes, I have damaging evidence of Kayla too!)

On that note of ponderance I will bid you all adieu. Blessings on you and yours.

Weekend Reflections......Part Two

After our wonderful night of fellowship on Friday, which went rather late, we fell into our beds at the hotel (thank goodness for priceline!), to get a little sleep. Saturday morning we braved the chilly rain and ginormous crowds to meet some friends at the Creation Museum. Becca, "Isaac", "Sunshine Girl,", and "Little Guy"; Julia, Matt, Josiah, and Micah, our crew, along with Becca's sister Rhonda and kiddos. (we were bummed that Jani's family and Sonja and Brent had to leave and couldn't be with us.) What a surprise it was to bump into Kevin Moser, who is quite the aficionado of the museum, having been something like 12 times. He was leaving as we were coming, but agreed to stick around and give us a personalized tour. That was a big treat.

*The museum is all it is cracked up to be. Definitely something to be proud of representing the creationist, biblical viewpoint. Visitors walk through the Garden of Eden (complete with dinosaurs), through to the first sacrifice after sin entered the world, excellent reproductions of the ark, a visit at the feet of Methuselah, and also get a first-hand look at exactly what sin did to our planet. There is a wonderful film "Men in White", and a not-to-be-missed Planetarium. The day actually concludes with a simple presentation of the Gospel, and you get the impression that workers are ready and willing to answer questions and pray with anyone who might ask. Kevin shared that 12 construction workers actually did get saved during the building process, because of all the evidence offered, and the sharing of the gospel by Ken Hamm with them. That's pretty awesome.

*I hardly know where to begin in sharing some of the details of the exhibits. I can tell you the things that affected me most. FIRST, there is a predominant message throughout the exhibits, which is simply this: creationists and evolutionists begin with the same "set" of evidence, be it a dinosaur fossil, or any other archaeological find. Because they both approach the same evidence with a pre-biased set of beliefs, they each conclude different things. Because evolutionists come to all fossils, living and non, with a belief already in place telling them that the world is billions and billions of years old, they have to squeeze and tweak and pull and push and prod all evidence in to that box. Scientifically, any honest person can see that there are issues with some of their conclusions. But they brought their "faith" to their evidence and walked away with different conclusions. Creationists don't have all the answers to life's mysteries: however, they come to all evidence with a firm pre-biased belief in the biblical account of earth's origins. With that belief in place, their evidence is pretty easily explained. They don't have to do a lot of pushing and shoving to make things fit into their box. A cataclysmic world-wide flood, such as the Bible teaches, really explains a LOT. But the museum exhibits go to great lengths to show the process from the perspectives of both creationist and evolutionist paleontologists. It's very enlightening. SECONDLY, I had a weird experience when viewing a video recreation of what the flood may have looked like. I didn't know it, but I had always thought about the flood from a sort of "flat-earth" perspective! I imagined RISING waters. This clip shows the globe, the planet earth, being slowly encased in a flood of waters. It was riveting, and much more chilling seeing it in that way. FINALLY, words fail me a little to express my feelings after leaving the Planetarium, our final stop of the day. I grew up with a fascination of the stars and constellations, definitely a direct response to my dads' interest. Mom bought him a telescope for Christmas one year, and he and I enjoyed many hours of gazing into the starry Florida sky. Especially beautiful down at the beach, where external light interference was minimal. ANYWAY, (!), I had never really grasped the enormity of the entire cosmos. We think of our planet, Earth, in such an egotistical manner. Like we really have the power to improve or destroy it. We think this planet is so huge and vast. But in relation to what little scientists know of the whole cosmos, our planet is SOOOOOOOO teensy weensy. It looks like the most puny, insignificant piece of matter out there! In fact, in viewing it, I really began to feel so small and insignificant. What really makes the only difference, what makes us have value, is that we are the CREATION of the Master of the Universe. Formed in His image, and for some unimaginable reason, loved by Him. This is the planet where He became incarnate, where He revealed Himself, where His spirit resides, and to which one day He will return. Again, my words are feeble, but it is truly mind-blowing to me. (and at the risk of sounding like a TOTAL cook, I also wondered with all the gazillion stars, planets, and galaxies out there, and probably more that we don't have a clue about, are we really the ONLY created ones out there? Do we really fill up God's time and interest?!!!? Just wondering.........you really can't help it!)

I should probably have done a slide thingy for pics; oh well...here they are!

Lauren and "Sunshine Girl" (Becca's girl) became very fast friends, and were inseparable all day!

Also two very fast friends!

A very funny pair: Sophie and Micah; their parents discussed arranged marriages as well! :)

Weekend Reflections....Part One

As you know, we enjoyed a wonderful weekend of visiting Youth Challenge, dear old friends, fellow and lurking bloggers, and an exciting, educational trip to the Creation Museum. We topped off the weekend with our church's annual Harvest Party. With so many fun times, treasured memories, and reflective thoughts, I have decided not to try to stuff it all in to one post. So this post will focus on Friday night, Youth Challenge, and friendship.

*First thoughts: this ain't yo mama's Youth Challenge! Now keeping in mind we were only there for one night this year, you can take my observations with a grain of salt. But, wow, have things ever changed since the days of my youth! I am obviously older than I realize. The traditional trappings of the CHM in method and style have been set aside for a sweeping entrance into the 21st century. The place was packed to capacity, the music was more contemporary and energetic, affirmation was made known in the form of applause, and the evening speaker, Randy Brown, had the crowd on the edge of their seats from his first uttered word to the last. You can make of this what you will; overall, I think it is a positive thing. I am confident that the leadership will continue to pursue balance, but their primary focus is/has been/will be on YOUNG PEOPLE. This is a good thing.

*Secondly, VISION sang... and all bias aside...it was wonderful to hear their blending voices again. I think they maybe beat themselves up a little for not being as polished as when they were traveling 478 days a year (slight exaggeration!), but I thought they were wonderful. And I even shared a conversation with someone (if you're reading you know who you are!) who told me that those songs were just for her and ministered to her need that night. So, in light of that, what more could you ask for?

*I saw many many people from all different phases of my life; pieces of my life's history are found in the people that I have been blessed to know. It is difficult, as I told many of them, to make all the rounds and have quality conversation when you have so little time to see so many. My beautiful cousin, whom I hadn't seen for probably 12 years, was one I got maybe 5 minutes with~! So sad! In a related vein, it was also a little disconcerting to learn just how many lurkers there are reading this blog and probably many of yours! Of course, we know this in the backs of our minds, but hearing outright makes it more real! I say, "come out, come out, wherever you are" and join us here in the land of blogging! Make your presence known~!

*Final observations...I'm still as "in love" with my closest friends as I ever was. What a blessed, lucky gal I am to have such beautiful people to call my friends. We enjoyed our time with you so much, both Derek and me. I have probably left some things out that I wanted to share about this first part. Maybe I'll remember it while I'm getting on to the good stuff.....

PICTURES!

VISION singing; looks so familiar, doesn't it?!

So great getting to see each others' children. Pictured here, l to r, Janessa B., Josiah T., "Little Guy", and Micah T.

Jani's cuties: John Henry B., and Juliana B.

Our Sophie and Michah T. playing ring around the rosie. These two turned out to be quite the pair. :)

Another very lively pair! Lauren and Ms. V; I had a difficult time getting a "normal" picture of these two. Others may have a better pic than me!

It was SOOOO good to be with Jani, John, and their sweet family! The time was just way too short, as they couldn't stay over and be with us the next day. Friday night was it. :( John was holding Juliana out due to a tell-tale odor! (you could just squeeze her to death, though. She is a doll-baby.) They're expecting a new Baby B. in February.

Once upon a time, three girls shared a one-bedroom apartment. They dreamed big dreams for the future, and probably always thought they would be close by to share all the daily parts of each others' lives. Alas, that was not to be. But the happy ending is that no matter how much time passes or how many miles are in between, the love and friendship is still there when they come together again.

What a sappy way to leave you with my favorite picture! 11 years, 3 husbands, and 9 1/2 kids later! OY!

Steel on Steel

Today I am writing this post on behalf of Derek and myself...in memory of and in honor to our friend Greg Makcen.

It was on this date four years ago that our hearts were deeply grieved and sorrowful to learn that Greg had died. Even though he had been battling a mysterious illness for a time, it still seemed unthinkable that someone so exuberant and full of life would indeed be taken from us. The shock was great.

Death has been a part of my life almost since I can remember. I know, that sounds like a bizarre statement. But most of you know that my dad has worked in the Funeral 'business' for many years. His very livelihood counts on the certainty of death. I have also been acquainted with grief through the loss of loved ones, and friends, some of which were so young to die, by all earthly standards. I guess it is because of this familiarity that I came early on in life to deplore the platitudes and cliches that come along with grief. Not because I think people don't mean well; only that hearing once again that "God needed another flower for His garden, or another 'angel' for His choir" brings me no comfort at all; indeed, it flies in the very face of who I believe God to be. Neither a selfish gardener, nor Choral director. Still, the death of this friend was very hard to accept; it was painful.

But I have digressed. I wanted to share some thoughts about who Greg Makcen was to us. Ten years ago, he was a total stranger! Then we received a call to come and be part of his pastoral staff in the capacity of Music Ministry. When we accepted this call, to join Bro. Greg and his family there in Tuscaloosa, we were new to full-time ministry. And Greg was relatively new to having a "team" to work with. What an adjustment of learning, growing, stretching, accepting, mentoring, leading, and following we encountered! As we felt our way through developing a common philosophy of ministry, there were times of major "discussion" that occurred! Boy, did we go 'round and 'round sometimes (you know, in the sanctified sense :) ) There are a lot of people...even those in places of ministry across the CHM and church world at large...who cannot or will not sustain their friendships through these times of 'sharpening each other like steel on steel.' I guess the greatest thing about our relationship and friendship with Bro. Greg was that it only became stronger and deeper with time. We feel like we grew as people and as Christians for having known him. I'm especially glad that we went back for a visit and enjoyed some precious fellowship together just a few weeks before he died. In our minds, Greg didn't leave behind a legacy that he was this perfect, saintly, have-it-all-together man, but his humanity and his ability to correct course and have a teachable spirit are a HUGE example to us. It is no trite thing when I say that the impact that Greg Makcen left on us was Jurassic in size. The way he viewed people and his intense passion for "right living" (as he would say), and whole-hearted Service to God, has left a mark on our lives and we are forever grateful.


Our memories of our time in Alabama are exceedingly precious to us now. So many fun games played around the table, and stories shared. Greg loved tall tales :)
We miss him, and look forward to seeing him again someday in Heaven. It will be interesting to find out if Greg will really be able to sing now that he's crossed to the other side. Lord knows, he drove us nuts in this world wishing that he could!!!
And, if there's Skip-Bo in Heaven, I fully plan to say "Skip Bro. Greg", just once more...for old times' sake!
We have often laughed at the thought of Greg slipping in to sit on the back pew during his own funeral service. He would have gotten such a kick out of it; all the accolades and well-known preachers on the platform. He would have loved every minute of it!


So, here's to you, Bro. Greg: our friend, our Pastor, co-worker, neighbor, and teacher of hard truths. You are Missed!

I know I have shamelessly used my blog today to vent some very personal thoughts and reflections. I hope you'll forgive it, and understand that this was good therapy. When I'm tempted to feel sorrowful for Greg that his full and exciting life was cut short, Derek reminds me: don't feel sorry for Greg! Feel sorry for us! His journey is over; no more pain, sickness, temptation or trouble. He's arrived: now it behooves us to do the same.

Ode to Friendship...

I wish that I really had the time and mental creativity to do an actual 'ode', but my innermost thoughts and feelings will have to do instead.

I love the quote that says "there's no friend like an old friend." In my life that has proven itself true over and over. No matter the acquaintances that I make or the new friendships I endeavor to forge, there is something very precious (in the truest sense of that word) about my old friends. Whenever I am with any one of you there is a warmth in my heart that just permeates my being. It is like a *sigh* in a way; spending time in the presence of people with whom you can just "BE". That's all: just be. No pretense. No "wall" up. It is priceless!

This past weekend was just such a time. Having Brent and Sonja here on Saturday and Sunday was such a treat for our family! Of course, Brent with all of his hand sounds, etc., jokes about being a bad influence on the children. Truthfully, hand-sounds aside, I can only say that it thrills me for my children to be around my friends. My kids still haven't stopped talking about them. In fact, today Cameron asked me if Brent and Sonja would please come back and go on our family vacation with us in 2 weeks! And Lauren has expressed repeatedly that she wishes they could just have stayed indefinitely! Thanks, guys, for being such great role models of joy and happiness and Christian FUN to my children!

We enjoyed wonderful times of fellowship, eating (!), and just yacking on Saturday evening. And Sunday morning our church service was marked with God's presence. God used Brent in a wonderful way to bring encouragement and healing into our midst. In fact, our service ended with a time of annointing and prayer for healing. We were so thankful and proud to be able to offer a service with Brent...for we knew that not only the good music but the integrity of life and spirit would be an example to our people.

My life has been enriched and so much sweeter for having friends like so many of you. No matter who on the WWW comes across this post (!), you know who you are of which I speak. When I count my blessings, my friends are right up there at the top.

Here's some pictures of our weekend. I'm sure Sonja will probably have some to post as well, so maybe we can avoid duplication at least a little! In fact, Sonja has one VERY SPECIAL picture that is truly a priceless treasure. I will hold off and let her post that special one!